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'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'
Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker
"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."
Tags:priest, priests, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, marry, marries, marrying, wedding, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, bible, bible reading, bible readings, biblical, bible story, bible stories, parable, parables, wrong book, wrong books, book, books, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, accident, accidents, accidental, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, faux pas
'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'
"Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter. John you are out of order again."
'You mean like a zombie apolcalypse?'
"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"
Tags:pastor, pastors, preacher, preachers, preaching, vicar, vicars, minister, ministers, priest, priests, bad habit, bad habits, belching, belch, belches, rude, rudeness, bible, bibles, bible reading, bible readings, role model, role models, bad role model, bad role models, sunday school, sunday schools
"No one has actually ever tried it before...so apparently you CAN take it with you!"
"Your sermon started out strong, then it got a little slow and I nodded off."
Tags:preacher, preachers, vicar, vicars, minister, ministers, priest, priests, sermon, sermons, sunday sermon, sunday sermons, sunday worship, sunday worships, parishioner, parishioners, congregation, congregations, nap, naps, napping, sleepy, sleepiness, bible reading, bible readings, constructive criticism, feedback, feedbacks
Frank reads 'like sheep to slaughter...' for the first time.
Monk reading an upside down bible.
'No more Mr. Nice Guy...'
'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'
Good will toward men.
Applause in a Church
'Everyone turn to psalm 23 on his or her e-reader.'
'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'
'Very well, instead of the bible I'll read you Harry Potter but I am still standing behind the lectern.'
'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'
When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"
"The meek shall inherit the earth and all applicable taxes."
"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."
Tags:religion abortion rights, sins, sinning, devil, devils, demon, demons, underworld, afterlife, afterlives, hell, hells, hades, underworld, lucifer, satan, abortion debate, abortion debates, abortion rights, abortion laws, pro choice, pro-choice, pro-life, pro life, psalm, psalms, bible reading, bible readings, bible lesson, bible lessons, bible class, bible classes
"And you thought you were having a bad hair day."
"Looks like you're getting plenty of moral fiber."