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The wise men are followed by an auditor.
"God is out to get me."
Tags:job, book of job, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, bible character, biblical character, torah character, test, tests, test of faith, paranoia, paranoid, paranoias
"My client wants half, plus another fifteen per cent to cover my fees."
Tags:solomon, king solomon, judgement of solomon, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, judge, judgement, judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, lawyers feeds, attorneys fees, solicitors fees, custody case, custody hearing, custody hearings, baby, babies, mother, mothers, half, heartless lawyer, heartless lawyers
"Just for the record, I knew you were naked before I ate the apple."
"Everyone wants to known what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."
Tags:complication, complicated, complications, relationship, relationships, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, father-son, jesus, bible story, bible stories, gospel, gospels, dysfunctional relationship, dysfunctional relationships, god, new testament, christianity, wwjd, what would jesus do, christian, christians
Moses parts the red hair
"You realize that if you eat that, you'll get marketing emails for the rest of your life."
Tags:eve, tempation, tempted, tempt, tempts, tempter, apple, apples, forbidden fruit, forbidden fruits, tree of knowledge, bible story, bible stories, marketing, marketing email, marketing emails, spam, spam email, spam emails, e-mail, e-mails, nuisance, nuisances, e-commerce, ecommerce, online shopping, subscribe, subscribes, subscribing, subscription, subscriptions
"What's the takeaway on all this?"
Tags:guilt, guilts, guilting, mom, moms, mother, mothers, mum, mums, nag, nags, nagging, passive aggressive, passive aggression, passive aggressiveness, parent, parents, parenting, frustration, frustrations, frustrating, put on a sweater, nice young man, approval, approve, approves, approving, torah, genesis, bible, bible story, bible stories, shpasik, jtoons
The Twelve Speech Writers
Tags:last supper, leonardo da vinci, renaissance art, speech writer, speech writers, speech writing, speech-writer, speech-writers, twelve disciples, 12 disciples, gospel, gospels, bible story, bible stories, new testament, religious beliefs, bible lesson, bible lessons, bible quote, bible quotes, bible teaching, bible teachings, proverb, proverbs, christian, christians, christianity
"Maybe he can't swim."
Tags:swim, swims, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, christ, miracle, miracles, miraculous, new testament, jesus, gospel, gospels, bible, bible story, bible stories, non-swimmer, non-swimmers, walk on water, walks on water, walking on water, can't swim, excuse, excuses, poor excuse, poor excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses, son of god
"Is the Christian pious?"
Tags:lion, lions, feed to the lions, fed to the lions, christian, christians, martyr, martyrs, martyred, saint, saints, order, orders, ordering, favorite food, favorite foods, favourite food, favourite foods, bible, bible story, bible stories, gladiator, gladiators, arena, arenas, pious, piety, faithful, sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, persecute, persecutes, persecution, waiter, waiters, eat out, eats out, eating out
"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."
'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'
"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."
"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."
Tags:cain, mark of cain, curse, cursed, god, jehovah, genesis, book of genesis, bible story, bible stories, tumor, tumors, tumour, tumours, benign, malignant, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, doctor, doctors, oncology, oncologist, oncologists, prognosis, prognoses, old testament, torah, garden of eden
''Commandments' is fine. But why not jazz it up and call them 'The top ten no-no's'?'
"Have fun with it."
Tags:lightening strike, lightening strikes, lightning strike, lightning strikes, lightning, moses, ten commandments, 10 commandments, religious law, religious laws, religious rule, religious rules, mount sinai, bible story, torah story, bible stories, torah stories, ark of the covenant, divine intervention
God Goes Down Low/Adam Is Too Slow
Tags:michelangelo, the creation of adam, adam, genesis, bible story, bible stories, fresco, frescos, ceiling fresco, sistine chapel, down low, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, creation of man, art history, art historian, art historians, religious icon, religious icons
'That's probably not a good sign.'
"Well, now the flood warning's been downgraded to just a light mid-afternoon sprinkle."
Tags:weather warning, weather warnings, weather forecast, weather forecasts, flood warning, flood warnings, meteorologist, meteorologists, weather app, weather apps, noah, bible, bible story, bible stories, great flood, noah's ark, noah's arc, noahs ark, noahs arc, rainshower, rainshowers, rain shower, rain showers, forecast, forecasts, torah, torah story, torah stories, genesis, book of genesis
"This is Joshua. Joshua fit the battle of Jericho."
Tags:jericho, bible story, bible stories, bible character, bible characters, biblical character, biblical characters, torah story, torah stories, torah character, torah characters, joshua, mythical figure, mythical figures, battle of jericho, jericho, introduction, introductions, conquest of canaan, book of joshua, jehoshua, hoshea
'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'
'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'