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'So, yeah! Take it home, look it over, and if anybody has any feedback my door is always open.'
Tags:religion, religious, god, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, app, apps, application, applications, technology, praying, prayer, prayers, plague, plagues, weather, apocalypse, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, prophet, prophets, love, romance, soulmate, soulmates, holy book, bible, bibles, biblical, devil, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, game, games, social media, social networking, social network, social networks
"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."
"Just for the record, I knew you were naked before I ate the apple."
Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'
Tags:screenwriter, screenwriters, clerk, clerks, accuracy, accurate, accurateness, historian, historians, honest, honesty, entertainment, bible, bibles, torah, torahs, story, stories, old testament, entertainer, entertainers, exodus, red sea, miracle, miracles, teller, tellers, telling, non sequitur
Cash / EZ-Pass / Wages of Sin.
"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, swear in, swearing in, witness, witnesses, witness standing, questioning, bible, bibles, television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, guide, guides, magazine, magazines, entertainment, trend, trends, trendy, television judge, television judges, modern life
"A 40 day cruise? Just the two of us without the kids? Oh, Harold, This'll be the best vacation ever! I hope it doesn't rain!"
Tags:monkey, monkeys, ape, ampes, chimp, chimps, giraffe, giraffes, elephant, elephants, ark, arks, noah, bible, bibles, story, stories, rain, rains, rainy, raining, storm, storms, stormy, pair, pairs, two by two, ship, ships, boat, boats, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, cruise, cruises, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
''Commandments' is fine. But why not jazz it up and call them 'The top ten no-no's'?'
'That's probably not a good sign.'
'Well, the weather was terrible, but the buffet was AMAZING!! They had EVERYTHING!!'
And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House
'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'
'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'
Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.
Tags:adam, eve, religious, religion, tv, television, sports, sport, men, marriage, married life, men, living with men, genesis, book of genesis, bible, the bible, bibles, biblical, eden, garden of eden, couples, couple, wife, husband, tv, television, t v, superbowl, the game, super bowl, play offs, playoffs, play off, play off, fifa, football, football season, premier league
"If you've finished reading the tablets, please pass them back to the front."
Tags:bible, bibles, the bible, biblical, moses, ten commandments, commandment, ten commandment, 10 commandments, 10, religion, religious, crowd, crowds, read, reading, pass it back, pass it along, pass along, pass it on, pass on, read, reading, stone tablet, tablet, stone tablets, teacher, teaching, teachers, school, schools, learn, learning, meeting, meetings
Moses leads his people to the dessert.
"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."
Tags:noah, noah's ark, bible, bibles, creation, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, flood, floods, biblical flood, biblical floods, animal, animals, mythical creature, mythical creatures, unicorn, unicorns, lgbt, lgbtq, extinct, extinction, extinctions, great flood, noah, going exinct, endangered species, accident, accidents, mistake, mistakes, consequence, consequences, endangered, endangered species
"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."
Tags:david, goliath, investment advisor, investment adviser, investment advisers, investment advisors, investor, investors, investment, investments, money advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, bible, bibles, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories, old testament, war, wars, conflict, conflicts
Expulsion with Goody Bags
Tags:adam, eve, goody bags, party bag, party bags, goody bag, eden, garden of eden, genesis, expulsion, expelled, religion, religions, christian, christians, old testament, bible, bibles, torah, torahs, religious, party, parties, convention, conventions, promotion, promotional, promotions, promoting, promotes, advert, advertising, adverts, ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements
"O.K., so the meek shall inherit the earth, and the rich will have a hard time getting into Heaven. But what about the middle class?"
Tags:middle class, class, middle-class, shepherd, meek, meek shall inherit, meek shall inherit the earth, matthew, bible, blessed are the meek, they shall inherit the earth, middle classes, middle-classes, blessed are the gentle, eye of a needle, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, camel go through the eye of a needle, class jokes, middle income, god, jesus, bibles, verse, verses, religion, religious, heaven, heavenly, beatitudes, sermon on the mount
'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'
"I'm leaving you and the kids to join the Promise Keepers."
Tags:evangelical, evangelicals, irony, ironic, fatherhood, families, family, christian, christians, bible, bibles, husband, husbands, father, fathers, dad, dads, religion, religions, radical, radicals, jesus, jesus christ, christ, marriage, marriages, conservative, conservatives, family values, divorce, divorced, divorcing