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"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."
Tags:religion, religious, god, heaven, bible, biblical, angel, angels, judgement day, last judgement, final judgement, day of judgement, doomsday, the day of the lord, second coming of christ, business, planning, scheduling, timetable, timetables, long weekend, long weekends, timetabling, meeting, meetings, board meeting, board meetings, decision, decisions, deciding, choosing a date, deciding on a date, settling on a date, committee, committees, weekend, weekends
"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."
Tags:religion, religious, god, pray, prayer, prayers, praying, bible, biblical, new testament, mammon, evil, business, businessman, businessmen, money, finances, wealth, wealthy, rich, greed, greedy, avarice, materialism, materialistic, communication, phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, put on hold, hold, holding
"Or,if you prefer, I also have lox and bagels."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, genesis, book of genesis, adam, eve, first humans, creation story, creation myth, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, food, bagel, bagels, lox, salmon, jewish cuisine, jewish, jewish delicacies, choice, choices, tempting, original sin
Tags:religion, religious, god, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, app, apps, application, applications, technology, praying, prayer, prayers, plague, plagues, weather, apocalypse, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, prophet, prophets, love, romance, soulmate, soulmates, holy book, bible, bibles, biblical, devil, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, game, games, social media, social networking, social network, social networks
Garden of Eden Cocktail Bar
Tags:garden of eden, the garden of eden, original sin, genesis, the book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, biblical, the bible, biblical, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, temptations, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, addictive, addiction, addictions, addictive behaviour, addictive behaviours, snake, snakes, lucifer, the devil, devil, devils
"Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy..."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, mount sinai, mt. sinai, children of israel, israelite, israelites, questioning, doubting, suspicious, bad attitude, backtalk, talk back
Jesus sighted walking off Malibu.
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"Are these microphones, O Lord, on?"
Tags:televangelism, televangelist, televangelists, tv, television, t v, modern, modern life, modernity, modern world, camera, cameras, lights camera, minister, ministerial, pastor, pastors, church, churches, churchs, mic, mics, microphone, microphones, god, gods, lord, lords, christian, christianity, evangelical, evangelism, evangelical christian, american ministry, ministry, bible, biblical, language
Instead of an olive branch, the dove brings a delivery pizza back to Noah's Ark.
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, boat, boats, animal, animals, bird, birds, dove, doves, pizza, pizza, pizza delivery, pizza deliveries, delivery pizza, delivery pizzas, delivery driver, delivery drivers, deliverymen, deliveryman, driver, drivers, fresh pizza, fresh pizzas, service, customer service, pizza parlour, pizza parlour, pizza parlor, pizza parlors, pizza shop, pizza shops, pizza store, pizza stores, pizzeria, pizzerias, modern life
And on the Eighth Day God Just Puttered Around the House
"I didn't have time to go shopping,so I just wrote him a nice check."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, new testament, nativity story, christmas story, jesus, jesus christ, baby jesus, birth of jesus, jesus's birth, son of god, three wise men, three kings, magi, balthazar, melchior, caspar, gold, frankincense, myrrh, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas, noel, yule, shopping, cheque, cheques, check, checks, money
"First, I'd like to thank the Academy."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, mt. sinai, accepting, acceptance speech, acceptance speeches, award ceremony, awards ceremonies, academy, award, awards, speech, speeches, famous, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, star, stars, actor, actors, entertainment
"I understand the Ten Commandments. But what is this Second Amendment he keeps going on about?"
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, ten commandments, 10 commandments, commandment, commandments, decalogue, government, governments, politics, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american constitution, constitution, constitutions, amendment, amendments, second amendment, right to bear arms, arms, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, gun crime, gun violence, gun rights
"They say your chances of survival are better sitting in the tail section."
"They broke all the Commandments. Can they have some more?"
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, law, laws, rule, rules, sins, sinning, broke, broken, breaking, more, replace, replacement, replacements, replacing, christianity, judaism
"Impressive, He's obtained the hard copy."
Tags:adam, eve, religious, religion, tv, television, sports, sport, men, marriage, married life, men, living with men, genesis, book of genesis, bible, the bible, bibles, biblical, eden, garden of eden, couples, couple, wife, husband, tv, television, t v, superbowl, the game, super bowl, play offs, playoffs, play off, play off, fifa, football, football season, premier league
"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, genesis, book of genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, flood, flooding, great flood, dove, doves, animal, animals, returning, parking, parking regulations, suspended, suspension, parking places, parking spots, transportation, vehicle, vehicles, car, cars, automobile, automobiles, water, parking rules, parking restrictions
Daniel in the Lion's Den
Tags:bible, biblical, bible story, bible stories, daniel in the lion's den, book of daniel, christian, christians, christianity, lion, lions, den, dens, living room, living rooms, man cave, sitting room, sitting rooms, family room, family rooms, library, libraries, social, hangout, hanging out, myth, myths, mythical, religion, religions, religious, book, books, animal, animals
"If you've finished reading the tablets, please pass them back to the front."
Tags:bible, bibles, the bible, biblical, moses, ten commandments, commandment, ten commandment, 10 commandments, 10, religion, religious, crowd, crowds, read, reading, pass it back, pass it along, pass along, pass it on, pass on, read, reading, stone tablet, tablet, stone tablets, teacher, teaching, teachers, school, schools, learn, learning, meeting, meetings
"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, dating, date, dates, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, compliment, compliments, complimenting, eye, eyes, religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, appearance, personal appearance
Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.