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"My client wants half, plus another fifteen per cent to cover my fees."
Tags:solomon, king solomon, judgement of solomon, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, judge, judgement, judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, lawyers feeds, attorneys fees, solicitors fees, custody case, custody hearing, custody hearings, baby, babies, mother, mothers, half, heartless lawyer, heartless lawyers
"I tried to get just two ants."
You are here
"Old Testament prop comic."
Ruth and her new cordless telephone.
Tags:phone, phones, cordless phone, telephone, telephones, cordless telephone, call, calling, cals, cornfield, cornfields, corn, alien corn, biblical stories, biblical story, biblical, bible, keats, poems, poem, poets, poet, romanticism, romantic poem, romantic poems, romantic poet, romantic poets, john keats anachronistic, anachronism
Jonah and the Snail
'This is great! I had no idea it was a dinner cruise.'
SUNDAY SCHOOL, 'Before we go any further with this, does it have a happy ending?'
"I just got something off his registry."
"It's cool – God told us to!"
Tags:noah, noahs ark, ark, great flood, genesis, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, bible, biblical, gods word, gods orders, animal, animals, walk the plank, walking the plank, hippo, hippos, hippopotamus, hippopotamuses, lion, lions, pig, pigs, ostrich, ostriches, bird, birds, god, religion, religions, christianity, religious justification
The Israelites receive nanna from heaven.
"Don't tell Noah about the vasectomy."
Tags:noah, noah's ark, the great flood, flood, floods, flooding, flooded, ark, arks, two by two, animal, animals, breeding pair, breeding pairs, breed, breeds, breeding, procreation, contraception, contraceptives, vasectomy, vasectomies, dont tell, secret, secrets, keep secret, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, old testament, bible
"Sorry God but the wife has doing a cabinet."
"Mind if I tweak it?"
Tags:moses, ten commandments, god, revisions, tweak, edit, editors, editing, edits, revise, revises, revising, tweaks, tweaking, wisdom, almighty god, god, god the father, tablet, tablets, rule, rules, ruler, rulers, mount sinai, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical law, biblical laws, know better, knows better, knowing better, arrogant, arrogance, pride, mankoff
"...just how firm are you about spiders?"
Tags:ark, arks, arc, arcs, noah, noah's ark, noahs ark, noah's arc, noahs arc, the bible, bible, old testament, torah, biblical story, biblical stories, bible story, bible stories, spider, spiders, arachnid, arachnids, arachnophobia, fear of spiders, hate spiders, hatred of spiders, negotiating, negotiate, negotiations, negotiates, god, gods, two by two, extinction, extermination, exterminate, exterminates
King Solomon, ethical slut.
Tags:solomon, king solomon, wise, wise man, wise men, wisdom, baby, babies, split a baby, splits a baby, splitting a baby, saw a baby in half, saws a baby in half, sawing a baby in half, maternity, judgment, judgments, judgment of solomon, judgement, judgements, judgement of solomon, torah, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories, old testament, judge, judges
Tags:fallen angel, fallen angels, satan, lucifer, the devil, tree topper, tree toppers, christmas tree, christmas trees, decoration, decorations, angels, angel, christmas, christmas tree, hell, heaven, angelic, fall from grace, falls from grace, pun, puns, bible story, bible stories, biblical story, biblical stories
'You've done it now, David - Here comes his mother.'
"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"
Tags:moses, parting of the red sea, red sea, bible, biblical story, biblical, exodus, parting water, bath, baths, bath time, baby, babies, child, children, parenting, parents, parenthood, parent, new parent, new parents, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood
"Adam, how many times do I have to tell you to put your laundry in the basket!"
Tags:adam, eve, garden of eden, eden, genesis, biblical story, biblical stories, wife, wives, washing, laundry, nag, nags, nagging, nagged, laundry basket, laundry baskets, leaf, leaves, dirty laundry, chore, chores, household chore, household chores, bible, the bible, biblical, husband, husbands, careless, carelessness, thoughtless, thoughtlessness
A small pool of wise men this year
Tags:wise men, three wise men, wise, wise man, nativity, nativity story, biblical story, biblical stories, jesus birth, christmas, christmas stories, slim pickings, small pool, rise in stupidity, stupidity, stupid, unwise, not wise, fools, three fools, dearth, shortage, deficiency, poor candidate, poor candidates, lack of candidates
No Double Parking
"Looks like the folks in Babel worked out their language problem."