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'No Jimmy! You can't cite Wikipedia as the main source for your assignment!'
"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."
'This is well written, but you need something in your bibliography other than YouTube videos.'
He'd heard of curling up on the couch with a good book, but he'd never tried it.
'Someone's taken its appendix out.'
'You are charged with plagiarizing a seventeenth-century sonnet. Won't you academics ever learn?'
'It's Meryl Streep - she wants to play you.'
'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'
'You want to be rich and famous? You want book contracts and you want Hollywood to make a film of your life? Well, become a serial killer!'
'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'
'We'll have to have this appendix out. . .'
'I always thought that was just a figure of speech.'
'Gramps, I'm studying ' Life of Abe Lincoln,' but I need help from someone who was actually there.'
"How do you do endnotes for stuff you just know."