Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
One man's trash is another's treasure
"Why, thank you dear – I suppose five gallons of gas is a thoughtful birthday gift."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, birthday gift, birthday gifts, birthday present, birthday presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, last-minute, last minute, last-minute gift, thoughtless, thoughtless gift, thoughtless gifts, thoughtless present, thoughtless presents, thoughtful gift, thoughtful gifts, thoughtful present, thoughtfull presents, husband, husbands, stereotype, steretypes
Tags:gift, gifts, suspense, birthday, birthdays, birthday present, birthday presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, xmas present, xmas presents, xmas gift, xmas gifts, birthday gift, birthday gifts, expectation, expectations, bated breath, excitement, excited, tenterhook, tenterhooks, eager, eagerness, bated-breath
"Yeah, everybody says I'm hard to shop for, too."
"Surprise! It's my birthday."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, shopping spree, shopping sprees, birthday present, birthday presents, present, presents, gift, gifts, shop, shops, shopping, buy, buys, buying, retail therapy, forgot, forget, forgets, forgetful, husband, husbands, spouse, spouses, wife, wives, retail therapy, retailer, retailers
"For your birthday, I've made a list of annoying tics you might want to take care of."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, happy birthday, birthday gift, birthdays gifts, birthday present, birthday presents, getting old, getting older, ageing, bad gift, bad gifts, insult, insults, tic, tics, annoying, irritating, irritation, bad relationship, bad relationships, marital fight, marital fights, domestic, domestics, domestic argument, domestic arguments, spousal dispute, spousal disputes
"Aren't you happy that I gave you a umbrella for your birthday?"
A snake attempts to wrap a present
Tags:present, presents, gift, gifts, christmas present, christmas presents, birthday present, birthday presents, wrapping presents, wrapping, wrap, wraps, wrapped, tying a bow, bow, bows, ribbon, ribbons, tying ribbon, trapped, tangled, trap, tangle, tangles, try, trying, tries, attempts, attempt, attempted, snake, snakes
"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."
"I used to get toys as birthday gifts but now that I'm in pre-school, all I get is money for my college fund."
"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."
"Some assembly required."
"Regift the bicycle, but put this in my Panama pile."
Tags:gifts, gift, present, presents, birthday, birthdays, birthday present, birthday presents, spoilt, spoilt child, spoilt children, butler, butlers, regift, regifting, empty box, empty boxes, empty box scam, tax evasion, tax avoidance, tax evaders, tax evader, panama, tax haven, tax havens, offshore account, offshore accounts
'Wasn't that sweet of your father? For my birthday, he gave me a barrel of crude oil.'
Clive had searched high and low for an unusual birthday gift!"
"Thank you so much! I'll keep this in my special box of things I can't throw away for fear of hurting someone's feelings."
"I'm very touched, fellows."
Tags:mafia, mafia member, mafia leader, mafia leaders, birthday, birthdays, birthday card, birthday cards, birthday gift, birthday gifts, birthday present, birthday presents, touching, touched, perfect gift, perfect present, witness, witnesses, killing, killings, murder, murders, hit man, hit men, hit, hits, whacked, mobster, mobsters, organized crime, organised crime, crime boss, crime bosses, mob boss, mob bosses, crime syndicate, crime syndicates
"It's a special birthday, hon. I got your car washed."
Tags:birthday, birthdays, special birthday, special birthdays, happy birthday, special occasion, special occasions, celebration, celebrations, gift, gifts, present, presents, birthday gift, birthday gifts, birthday present, birthday presents, bow, bows, wrapping, wrapped, car wash, car washes, washing the car, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses
"Where does Friedrich Nietzsche hide birthday presents?"
Tags:friedrich nietzsche, nietzsche, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, western philosopher, western philosophers, existentialist, existentialists, existentialism, postmodernism, postmodernist, postmodernists, birthday present, birthday presents, mustache, mustaches, mustache pun, mustache puns, stash, stashes, stashing, hide, hides, hiding, present, presents, gift, gifts
Never getting the right present phobia: 'I know there's nothing in it. You have everything.'
'Happy Birthday, I bought you a car! It's an older model, but it runs great!'
"Oh, great! It's my birthday, and he's giving me MORE work!"
Tags:bee, bumble bee, bumble bees, bees, birthdays, ageing, flower, flowers, pollination, flower, birthday gift, birthday gifts, birthday present, birthday presents, birthday, aging, work, boss, secretary, flowers, work, bee hive, bee hives, hive, hives, present, presents, gift, gifts, worker bees, overworked, overwork, work load, work loads
'The Ghost of Birthday Present couldn't make it. I'm the Ghost of No Birthday Present.'
'You kids are so lucky today. In my day, all we had to play with were rocks.'
We appeased the fire god last week. Its your wife's birthday!