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"How come when men cook outdoors it's 'barbecuing,' but when women do it it's 'witchcraft'?"
Tags:witches, witchcraft, cauldrons, cauldron, magic, black magic, potion, potions, poison, poisons, cooking, cook, pot stirring, barbecuing, barbecue, bbq, cookout, grilling, grill, boil, boiled, gender stereotypes, gender norms, gender roles, full moon, women, men, magical, magic potion, magic potions
"I trust him - he has a science background."
Tags:kids, kid, child, children, wizard, magic, magician, potion, magic potion, cauldron, cook, cooking, poison, animals, animal cruelty, animal rights, black magic, science, scientists, scientist, experiment, experiments, laboratory, lab, qualifications, unqualified, qualified, trust, trustworthy, skills, background skills
'Don't be a fool!!'
Tags:run, running, runs, runner, runners, marathon, marathons, ran, witch, witches, drink, drinking, drinks, drank, refreshing, refresh, refreshed, refreshes, fool, fooled, trick, tricked, tricking, tricks, poison, poisoned, poisons, potion, potions, magic, black magic, evil, dark magic, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Traffic Cone Monsters
"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."
Tags:satan, satanic, satanic rituals, rituals, occult, cult, cultist, lucifer, witch, witches, black magic, dark magic, demon, demons, demonology, devil, the devil, demonic, black mass, black masses, robe, robes, magic, magical, spiritual, spirit, astral, technology, tech, phone, phones, mobile phone, mobile, mobiles, cell, cellphone, cell phone, cell phones, cells, call, called, butt dial, butt dials, butt dialled, serious implications, implications, wrong number, wrong, incorrect, number, pentagram, circle, pentacle
"How do you get your children not to stick to the bottom of the cauldron?"
"And, just to be on the safe side, tongue of attorney."
"Wait. Let me have one more try."
Tags:wizard, wizards, warlock, warlocks, magic, magics, magician, magicians, robe, robes, magic wand, wand, incantation, incantations, spell, spells, ritual, rituals, black magic, white magic, can, can opener, open, opening, wife, wives, husbands and wives, husband and wife, married, married life, marriage, married couple, one more try, one more, help, helping, helping hand
"No guarantees, right?"
Tags:toad, toads, frog, frogs, frog prince, princess, princesses, magic spell, magic spells, curse, curses, black magic, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy-tale, fairy-tales, fairy story, fairy stories, guarantee, guarantees, trick, tricks, lie, lies, kiss, kisses, deception, deceptions, stealing kisses, trick, trickery
"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, pentagram, skull, skulls, candle, candles, black magic, magic, witchcraft, sorcery, supernatural, occult, suspicious, questionable
"I turned Billy Whitley into him. Can I keep him?"
"O. K., if it will increase market share."
'Accounting trickes didn't work, so we had to resort to witchcraft.'
"So, is this a date with destiny?"
Tags:destiny, death, grim reaper, grim reapers, date with destiny, first date, first dates, flirt, flirts, flirting, meant to me, chat up line, chat up lines, chat-up line, chat-up lines, awkward date, awkward dates, dinner date, dinner dates, worst date, the occult, supernatural, the supernatural, occult, black magic
"Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative."
'The male pattern baldness is genetic, but your dense lower back hair appears to be a gypsy curse.'
"On the plus side, all the ingredients are local."
"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"
By making bogus voodoo dolls of her more unruly students...
"So, turn me into a frog would you."
'I have no problems with that old black magic. It's my short-term memory that's giving me trouble.'
'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'
'Wouldn't it make more sense to stick the needles directly into your enemy?'
"War of bat, tail of dog. Leg of horse, head of fro...Let's just phone for a pizza."
'Let there be viruses in all your computers.'