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"It slices! It dices! It drives a wedge between you and your wife, because you stored all the unsold units in her writing nook, not like she was using it anyways but whatever!"
Tags:sales, salesman, salesmen, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married, food processor, blender, blenders, food processors, appliance, appliances, household item, household items, couples dispute, couples argument, arguments, disagreement
"We had a good run, Ted, but I simply don't have the counter space."
Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator
Tags:businessman, businessmen, exec, execs, executive, executives, career, careers, big business, corporate, corporation, corporations, day job, offices, office job, office drone, office drones, cubicles, cubicle, offices, office building, office ecology, office politics, modern life, modern world, working life, working world, desk job, desk jockey, elevator, hold the door, hold the elevator, social cues, horror, horrify, horrifying, blend, blender, blended, processed, processor, button, buttons
"Hi! I'm Jim Burns, your computer matchup."
'I connected my food processor to my word processor software in case I have to eat my words.'
"The blender just texted—we forgot to turn off the stove."
Tags:appliance, appliances, electronics, smart appliance, smart appliances, stove, stoves, oven, oven, blender, blenders, kitchen, kitchens, forgot, forgotten, technology, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, text, texts, texting, message, messages, messaging, home, homes, safety, protection, fire safety, security, modern life
A Bill of Goods
Tags:garden of eden, the garden of eden, genesis, book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, tempted, tempting, temptations, christianity, christian, christians, judaism, jews, jewish, forbidden fruit, the forbidden fruit, smoothie, smoothies, blender, blenders, smoothie maker, smoothie makers, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, fad, fads, healthy living
Midlife Crises of Appliances.
Tags:midlife, mid-life, mid life, mid life crisis, crisis, appliance, appliances, tech, technology, modern, modern life, modernity, crises, vcr, video, video player, dishwasher, dishwashers, blender, blenders, furniture, electronics, electronic, age, aging, aged, time, father time, time goes by, things fall apart, broke, broken, break, breaking, breaks, fault, faulty, changes, changing, change, frustration, frustrated
'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'
Tags:accountant, accounting, accounting firm, accounting firms, crunch numbers, crunching numbers, puree, purees, pureeing, smoothie, smoothies, juice blend, juice blends, blend, blends, blender, blenders, blending, bookkeeping, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book keeping, record keeping, record keeper, record keepers, records, office work, office workers, office worker, break room, break rooms, food processors, food processing
'Listen, Blender, I'm not flashing you on purpose to flirt. My clock just hasn't been set.'
'I don't know why you use the lid to this thing. It's so much more fun without it!'
Preparing to paint an un-still life.
'What a weird smell in here...'
'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'
'You're putting fruit into your famous tuna smoothie.'
'Ok, I came up with a new name for my invention. Now it's called the cyclone cylinder!'
'Uh, Frosty, I think I'll pass on that carrot juice.'
'Oh, dude. That is just NASTY. Did you juice your cell phone?'
"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."
Tags:trojan, trojans, troy, helen of troy, ancient, ancient greeks, ancient, ancient greece, shop, shopping, shopped, decision, decisions, appliance, appliances, blender, blenders, interior, product, products, useful, usefulness, ornament, ornaments, consumer, consumers, trojan horse, trojan horses, historical
At the Hamilton Beach company mixer.
Thank you very much for the lovely wedding present...