Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
'I have the results of your stress test, and to be on the safe side, I want you to stop looking at your 401k.'
'I told you he had high blood pressure!'
"Your cholesterol and blood pressure are a little high. Your button is kind of small, but it's not bad for a seventy-one year old man."
Tags:cholesterol, cholesterols, blood pressure, blood pressures, donald trump, president trump, trump administration, us politics, american politics, u.s. politics, medical record, medical records, trump presidency, red button, big red button, big-red button, white house, harold bornstein, red button, red buttons
'For the elevated blood pressure, exercise and cut down on salt. For the rash, exercise and cut down on salt. For the headaches, exercise and cut down on salt.'
'And this is the only performance indicator that's moving up. Unfortunately, it's my blood pressure.'
'In this case, a new high score is not a good thing.'
"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."
Tags:dobermann, dobermanns, doberman pinscher, doberman pinschers, blood pressure, blood pressures, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physical, physicals, health check, health checks, stressful job, stressful jobs, stressed out, stress, cat, cats, dog, dogs, canine, canines
"Cut down on smoking, drinking, meat, sugar and get out of the stock market."
'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have your doctor check your pressure.'
'You have too much salt in your diet.'
"Oh my, your blood's boiling."
'Okay, so we relocated the office with no warning, kept you waiting 2 hours and screwed up your bill. Now let's discuss your high blood pressure.'
"I'm giving you something to raise your low blood pressure...my bill."
"Your blood pressure is completely normal. Are you sure you're married with children?"
'I guess that's why it's good to avoid high blood pressure.'
"For your stress test, here's a replay of the stock market in free fall..."
Tags:stock market, stock markets, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, recessions, credit crisis, stock market crash, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, bear market, bear markets, free fall, stress test, stress tests, stress level, stress levels, blood pressure, blood pressures, stressful job, stressful jobs, economic woes
"The congregation says I'm the salt of the earth. Could that be affecting my blood pressure?"
"Your blood pressure and anxiety level seem to elevate when you're near your husband. Is there any way you can avoid him for a few years?"
'Until that stabilizes, we will be monitoring your doses of market news.'
"I'm afraid I have a double dose of bad news. Your blood pressure is higher than your credit score."
Tags:credit score, credit scores, blood pressure, blood pressures, medical test, medical tests, credit report, credit reports, credit history, credit histories, medical bill, medical bills, hospital cost, hospital costs, hospital bill, hospital bills, diagnosis, bad news, bedside manner, health insurance medical insurance
"Well, my lawyer says I have to check your blood pressure."
"It appears your high sodium bacon is playing havoc with your blood pressure."
Tags:sodium, bacon, bacons, blood pressure, blood pressures, pig, pigs, pork product, pork products, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps, checkup, checkups, check up, check-up, check ups, check-ups, physical, physicals, healthcare, health-care, health care, healthy diet, unhealthy diet, unhealthy diets, healthy diets
'This little gadget monitors my blood pressure, my pulse, and the performance of my very sleek designer running shoes.'
'Well, Mrs. Gilner, comparing the numbers, everything looks great. Your cholesterol is right in line, blood pressure good... you're definitely as healthy as a horse.'
'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'