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"Hold still, Mrs. Brown, while I draw your blood."
Tags:draw, drawing, paint, painting, artist, artists, portrait, portraits, portraiture, portraitist, portraitists, drawing blood, taking blood, taking bloods, doctor, doctors, nurse, medical exam, medical exams, blood work, blood test, blood tests, pun, puns, visual pun, visual puns, play on words, wordplay
"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bloodwork, blood work, test, tests, testing, blood test, blood tests, blood testing, lab work, lab result, lab results, result, results, yucky, gross, icky, language
"It's a simple stress test - I do your blood work, send it to the lab, and never get back to you with the results."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, test, tests, testing, stress test, stress tests, bloodwork, blood work, sample, samples, blood, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, result, results, medical testing, medical test, medical tests, stressful, wait, waits, waiting, wait time, wait times, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, call, calls, calling, modern life
"You need to get your cholesterol where your sperm count is."
Tags:low sperm count, sperm count, semen, sperm, high cholesterol, doctor, doctors, doctors office, medical, medical center, medical centre, medical centers, medical centres, physical, check up, check-up, blood work, blood tests, test result, test results, hormones, hormone, hormone imbalance, diagnosis, treatment, male infertility, infertile, sexual health, reproductive health, reproductive system, unimpressed, insulted, insult, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, medical advice
'According to this blood work, you're 80% cake.'
"Your bloodwork came back green!"
'Your numbers are continuing to slide, Santa. You need to be active more than one day a year.'
Tags:santa claus, christmas, christmastime, x-mas, x mas, xmas, holidays, doctors, physicians, health, fitness, healthcare, exam room, lab work, lab numbers, health screenings, biometric screenings, blood work, bloodwork, exercise, sedentary lifestyles, medical advice, prognosis, diagnosis, sedentary lifestyle
"Your bloodwork has come back green!"
"Well, your bloodwork came back very cosmopolitan."
Tags:doctor, doctors, vamp, vamps, vampires, vampires, bloodwork, blood work, blood works, bloodworks, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, physicals, exams, examinations, physical, examination, exam, chart, consultation, blood test, blood tests, blood result, blood results, monster, monsters, bloodsucker, bloodsuckers
"Your homocysteine chapel levels are right off the charts."
"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."
Tags:pre-diabetic, diabetic, diabetics, diabetes risk, diabetes risks, gp, gps, health care, healthcare, diabetes, health, doctor, doctor's office, sugar, blood work, fasting blood sugar, insulin, insulin resistant, health care, healthcare, bedside manner, test results, passing the buck, nutrition, obesity, health crisis, metabolic syndrome, unhealthy lifestyle, bedside-manner
"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."
Tags:check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, breathe, inhale, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, test results, results, bloodwork, blood work, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosed, flip, flipped, invert, inverted, opposite, opposites
'So? How'd your blood test go?' 'Somehow I got a D+!'
'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'
'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'
'I did a blood count and only got a 12.'
"We got your bloodwork back, it doesn't appear to be yours."
Lab tech tosses hypodermic needles at dartboard.
Tags:hematologist, hematology, hematology lab, hypodermic, hypodermic needle, hypodermic needles, syringe, syringes, dart board, dartboard, dart, darts, cure for boredom, cure boredom, goofing off, lab technician, lab technicians, lab tech, lab techs, blood culture, blood test, blood tests, blood draw, blood work, lab testing, blood lab
"Your blood work suggests you've got a bit of a sniffle. . . but I'd like to conduct a couple of dozen more just to make sure."
"Yes, your blood work is not good! Going after the weak, sick or old is not conducive to eating well now, is it?"