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"Go into Settings, Privacy, Activity Controls, Web Activity, Manage Activity, and deselect Giant Snake."
Tags:snake, snakes, giant snake, giant snakes, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, phone, phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, mobile, mobiles, cell phone, cell phones, cell, cells, phone settings, phone setting, internet settings, internet setting, browset settings, browser setting, privacy setting, privacy settings, technology, new technology, bad with technology, tech support, it support
"Sometimes it's hard to tell whether she's going out or coming in!"
"To be fair, Martha, you started it."
Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.
Tags:boa constrictor, boa constrictors, snake, snakes, serpent, serpents, contractor, contractors, contracting, worker, workers, builder, builders, building zone, building zones, plumber, plumbers, extension, extensions, housing project, housing projects, construction sites, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Any tightness or difficulty breathing."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, exam room, exam rooms, medical exam, medical exams, question, questions, medical question, medical questions, tick box question, tick box questions, stupid question, stupid questions, snake, snakes, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, crushed, crushing, tightness, difficulty breathing, snake attack, snake attacks
In the course of the evolution, Boa Constrictors found new hunting strategies.
'Good news Pete... The snake isn't poisonous!'
"Seriously? You bought me a boa? How silly of you, Henry...no one wears those anymore!"
Tags:boa, boas, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, python, pythons, feather boa, feather boas, miscommunication, miscommunications, homonym, homonyms, formal wear, snake, snakes, herpetologist, herpetologists, reptile, reptile cage, reptile cages, makeup, make-up, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, gauche, out-of-date
'Keep driving - we can't open the doors anyway!'
'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'
"Stop ringing for the nurse. We know you're here."
"No, I get it. At some point, every friend I've ever had needs to take a break from me."
Tags:suffocate, suffocates, suffocating, suffocation, smother, smothers, smothering, break, breaks, take a break, taking a break, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, needy, clingy, neediness, high maintenance, maintain, maintains, maintaining, break up, break ups, breaking up, boyfriend, partner, partners, boa, boas, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, python, pythons, snake, snakes, relationship
Snake leaving bowling alley with bowler and ball.
"I can't sleep in anymore."
"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"
"I said I'll be glad when we get to the zoo."
"Thanks again for putting in the doggie door, honey. It sure makes life easier."
Tags:diy project, diy projects, doggie door, doggie dogs, dog door, dog doors, dog flap, dog flaps, reptile, reptiles, snake, snakes, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, animal attack, animal attacks, dangerous animal, dangerous animals, mistake, mistakes, dog owner, dog owners, canine, canines, pet, pets, dog, dogs, pet dog, pet dogs
"That's such a clever title: I love a good pun..."
Tags:animal, snake, snakes, reptile, reptiles, serpent, serpents, lisps, lisping, stand-ups, stand up, stand ups, lisp, hysterical, stand-up, comedians, comedy act, comedy acts, comedy club, comedy clubs, boa constrictor, boa constrictors, comedian, humour, humor, pun, puns, comedy, club, title, play, word, hiss
A man who is having his toe pinched by a lobster dreams he is being strangled by a python.
"Stupid gag reflex!"
"Typical, I can't see the snake for all this darn foliage!"
Due to their strength and quick reflexes, trained boa constrictors are now used by many restaurants to perform the Heimlich maneuver.
Snake eats golfer.
"Well, the usual salary for a new staff member is one rat every two to three weeks, Mr. Shoodick."