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'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'
'Well he certainly does a very thorough risk analysis.'
Boss: 'Speak up Smythe, I know you've got an opinion, I told you what it was in my email this morning!'
'HR says we should be looking for a little fresh blood any idea what they're talking about?'
'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'
'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'
'Our new savings account isn't very popular. There's been no interest in it.'
"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."
Tags:board, boards, motion, motions, short, shorter, chair, chairs, chair legs, away, holiday, vacation, absent, absentee, missing, demote, demoted, make fun, tease, shorten, play around, joke, prank, pranks, serious, formal, procedure, procedures, board of directors, teasing, pranking, pranker, practical joke
'Okay, let's bring this meeting to order.'
"Don't sit there. Everyone who's ever sat there has died of boredom."
"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."
Tags:senior, seniors, seniority, sage nodding, yes man, yes men, yes-man, yes-men, lip service, businessman, businessmen, meeting, meetings, board, boardroom, board room, exec, execs, executive, executives, career, careers, big business, corporate, corporation, corporations, day job, offices, office job, office drone, office drones, include, included, really mean, say what you mean, decision, decisions
"Now boarding-all the people who pushed their way in front of the people supposed to be boarding."
Tags:queue, queuing, queues, queued, pushing, queue jumping, queue jumped, board, boarding, plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplanes, aeroplane, steward, stewardess, stewards, stewardesses, passenger, passengers, pushing, pushed, push, airport, airports, board, luggage, bag, bags, wait, waiting, line, waiting in line, order, orders, skip, skip the queue
'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'
"Langsford, will you please stop interjecting quotes from Kahlil Gibran?"
Tags:kahlil gibran, literary quote, literary quotes, novelist, novelists, writer, writers, author, authors, famous author, famous authors, poet, poets, boardroom, boardrooms, annoying habit, annoying habits, irritating habit, irritating habits, elitist, elitists, meeting, meetings, board, boards, board member, board members, businessmen, businessman
"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."
Tags:lollapalooza, board, boards, board meeting, board room, director, directors, board of governors, governing, govern, governs, meeting, meetings, business meeting, corporate, corporation, corporations, office life, offices, office meeting, executive, exec, execs, executive meeting, working, worker, working life, office drone, office drones, conference, conferences, bored, boring, bores, bore, modern world, modern life, waste, wasting, wasting time, waste of time
'...so the Marketing Department suggested I try a slide presentation.'
Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.
Tags:einstein, time, nature of time, wait, waits, airport, airports, air travel, plane travel, plane travels, trolley, trolleys, theory of relativity, general theory of relativity, gate, gates, board, boards, boarding, long wait, long waits, stop, stops, stopping, time stopping, impatient, impatience, hurry, hurries, hurrying, hurry up, hurries up, airport terminal, airport terminals, frustration, frustrations, first world problem, first world problems
'I have good news and bad news. The problem is, I don't know which is which.'
'Would you please send in one of my 'yes-man' to break this tie?'
'Unfortunately, your insurance only allows for treatment by doctors who scored 68 or less on their medical boards.'
'Wasn't it about the time you came on board that I turned the company around?'
"We were too busy ignoring the warning signs to pay attention to the projected disaster."
Tags:risk, risk averse, risk aversion, avoid, avoiding, avoiding risk, avoid risk, warning sign, warning, warnings, warning signs, projected, projection, projections, disaster, business collapse, business failure, meeting, meetings, board, board meeting, boardroom, exec, execs, management, manager, managers, executive, executives, failure, fail, failed, disaster, ignorance, inaction, passive, passivity, procrastinate, procrastination, procrastinating, procrastinates
'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'
"I'm pleased to announce we've developed a new drug that's remarkably effective in generating profits."
Tags:businessman, businessmen, exec, execs, executive, executives, career, careers, big business, corporate, corporation, corporations, meeting, meetings, board, boardroom, board of, consumerism, capitalism, consumer, venture capitalism, deal, deals, big pharma, pharma, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, white collar crime, fraud, fraudulent, modern business, business strategy, strategy, strategies, pill, pills, tablet, tablets, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, profit, profits, profitable
"Funny, I'd just never thought to ask the boardfor the power of flight before."
Tags:business men, business man, business people, business person, businessmen, businessman, businessperson, business executive, business executives, manager managers, business manager, business managers, executive, executives, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchies, board, boards, board meeting, board meetings, fly, flying, power of flight, flying person, grounded, request, requests, power, powerful, authority