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Tags:muse, muses, inspiration, inspirations, inspired, inspire, inspired, inspiring, tax, taxes, taxation, taxations, accountant, accountants, accountancy, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book-keeper, book-keepers, financial crime, financial crimes, tax evasion, tax avoidance, tax avoider, tax evader, tax evaders, tax avoiders, irs, inland revenue service, internal revenue service, hm revenue and customs
'Here things are getting interesting!'
'Half of the numbers are accurate, that's why we're auditing the remaining 56%.'
Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."
Tags:account, accounts, accountancy, accountant, audit, audits, tax, taxes, tax return, tax returns, finance, finances, book keeper, book keepers, book keeping, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, fairground, fairgrounds, fair ride, fair rides, irs, internal revenue service, nuisance, nuisances, tax season
'You certainly have a way with no words.'
"Here are the numbers you wanted cooked, sir."
Tags:bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book-keeper, book-keepers, accountant, accountants, accountancy, cooking the books, cook the book, chef, chefs, chef's hat, chef's hats, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, financial crime, financial crimes, businessmen, businessman
'Now, using a little accounting magic on your tax return, one and one equals three.'
'Why do you think we're paying you all this money - to tell the truth?'
Accountant sings the blues
"Advertise! Advertise! That's always been your answer for everything."
Tags:advert, ad, advertisement, advertising, advertiser, business, businesses, commerce, sales, sales figures, anger, anger issues, anger management issues, advise, solutions, problem solving, marketing, marketing solution, marketing solutions, marketing tactics, sales tactics, office, offices, book keeper, bookkeeper bookkeeping, book keeping, excuse, excuses, scapegoat, scapegoating, solutions, solution, advice, advise, advising, adviser, bad advice, out of date, out dated, behind the times, pass the blame, pass the buck
'Here, we switched accountants.'
'Take my advice, stop thinking of it as your money.'
'Fortunately, I' ve got someone to do the bookkeeping!'
'When I die please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. Write on the envelope, now you have everything.'
'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'
'Did you know if you turn a calculator upside-down you can write 'boobs'?'
The accountant's visit
'No! Balancing a budget does not mean you spend everything you earn!'
'These numbers put us in a very difficult position.'
'How much is two plus two?' - 'How much do you want it to be?'
'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'
'My pay cheque is late. I'm imposing economic sanctions.'
"The unexamined life is 5 percent cheaper over the course of an average lifespan."
'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'
'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'