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Tags:muse, muses, inspiration, inspirations, inspired, inspire, inspired, inspiring, tax, taxes, taxation, taxations, accountant, accountants, accountancy, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book-keeper, book-keepers, financial crime, financial crimes, tax evasion, tax avoidance, tax avoider, tax evader, tax evaders, tax avoiders, irs, inland revenue service, internal revenue service, hm revenue and customs
'Here things are getting interesting!'
'Half of the numbers are accurate, that's why we're auditing the remaining 56%.'
Tunnel of Accountants: 'You've been selected for a random audit.'
"Here are the numbers you wanted cooked, sir."
Tags:bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book-keeper, book-keepers, accountant, accountants, accountancy, cooking the books, cook the book, chef, chefs, chef's hat, chef's hats, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, financial crime, financial crimes, businessmen, businessman
'Now, using a little accounting magic on your tax return, one and one equals three.'
'Why do you think we're paying you all this money - to tell the truth?'
Accountant sings the blues
'Take my advice, stop thinking of it as your money.'
'Here, we switched accountants.'
'Fortunately, I' ve got someone to do the bookkeeping!'
'When I die please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. Write on the envelope, now you have everything.'
'Did you know if you turn a calculator upside-down you can write 'boobs'?'
'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'
The accountant's visit
'These numbers put us in a very difficult position.'
'No! Balancing a budget does not mean you spend everything you earn!'
'How much is two plus two?' - 'How much do you want it to be?'
'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'
'My pay cheque is late. I'm imposing economic sanctions.'
"The unexamined life is 5 percent cheaper over the course of an average lifespan."
'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'
'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'
"Where is the Office Ledger?"
"She's good because she is our bookkeeper."
Tags:bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, book keeper, book keepers, book keeping, accountant, accountants, accountancy, number cruncher, number crunchers, number-cruncher, number-crunchers, talent show, talent shows, juggling, juggler, jugglers, juggle, juggles, juggling act, circus skill, circus skills