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No, Smith, that's NOT why they're called 'Spreadsheets'.
"I'm sick and tired of 'Generally Accepted Accounting Principles'."
Tags:accounting principle, accounting principles, generally accepted, burnout, burnouts, breakdown, breakdowns, break-down, break-downs, burn-out, burn-outs, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeep, bookkeeps, accountant, accountants, office job, office cubicle, office cubicles, rebellion, rebellions, rebelling, rebellious
Tags:muse, muses, inspiration, inspirations, inspired, inspire, inspired, inspiring, tax, taxes, taxation, taxations, accountant, accountants, accountancy, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book-keeper, book-keepers, financial crime, financial crimes, tax evasion, tax avoidance, tax avoider, tax evader, tax evaders, tax avoiders, irs, inland revenue service, internal revenue service, hm revenue and customs
"I never discuss my clients with their mothers."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, client, clients, client privilege, client privacy, client confidentiality, confidentiality, confidential, privacy, private, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barrister, solicitor, solicitors, accountant, accountants, financial advisor, financial advisors, bookkeeping, bookkeepers, bookkeeper, therapy, therapist, counseling, counselor, shrink, shrinks, analyst, analysts, psychiatry, counsellor, counsellors
"Daddy doesn't know any magic tricks. Daddy knows accounting tricks."
Tags:accounting trick, accountant, accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, magician, magicians, career, careers, career path, career paths, magic act, magic acts, magic trick, magic tricks, white collar crime, white collar crimes, financial crime, financial crimes, kid, kids, dad, dads, father, fathers
'No kidding! I thought the term, 'bean counter' was just a slang term.'
"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."
Tags:monkey, monkeys, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, accountant, accountants, bad accountant, bad accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, accounting error, monkeyshines, prank, pranks, joke, jokes, monkey business, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial manager, financial managers, banker, bankers, embezzle, embezzlement
"Oh, that three billion dollars."
'Here things are getting interesting!'
'Half of the numbers are accurate, that's why we're auditing the remaining 56%.'
'Take this and have a masseuse massage the numbers until they fit into out proposed profit projections.'
Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."
Tags:account, accounts, accountancy, accountant, audit, audits, tax, taxes, tax return, tax returns, finance, finances, book keeper, book keepers, book keeping, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, fairground, fairgrounds, fair ride, fair rides, irs, internal revenue service, nuisance, nuisances, tax season
'Your bookkeeping skills are no longer needed. Tony will now take you for a ride on which he will discuss our early retirement plan.'
Tags:mafia, mob, the mob, mobs, gang, gangster, gangsters, gangs, mob boss, boss, the boss, bosses, gang leader, leader, leaders, fire, fired, firing, early retirement, bookkeeper, bookkeeping, whack, whacking, whacked, discuss, kill, killed, kills, killing, force, forced, forcing, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Is there anyone else in bookkeeping who would like one last picture with Mr. Pinkston?"
Tags:boss, bosses, horrible boss, horrible bosses, manager, managers, ogre, ogres, hate, hates, hatred, hatreds, nemesis, nemeses, accountant, accountants, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, pass, passes, pass away, passing away, die, dies, dying, enemy, enemies, iron fist, ruler, rulers, dictator, dictators, dictatorship, dictatorships, corporate ladder, resent, resents, resentment, corporate culture
"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."
Tags:therapy, therapist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, mental health, analyst, analysts, psychotherapy, psychology, psychoanalysis, headshrinker, headshrinkers, therapy session, therapy sessions, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, counsel, counselor, prosecutors, defense attorney, defense attorneys, accountant, accountants, financial advisor, financial advisors, bookkeeping, bookkeepers, bookkeeper, options, choices, advice, advise, advising, advisor, couples, couples counseling, technicality, technicalities, reproductive endocrinologist, reproductive endocrinology, fertility, fertility clinic, infertility, slow, slowly, slowpoke, slowpokes
"I never let me bookkeepers forget, I'm a patriot first."
"Here are the numbers you wanted cooked, sir."
Tags:bookkeeper, bookkeepers, book keeper, book keepers, book-keeper, book-keepers, accountant, accountants, accountancy, cooking the books, cook the book, chef, chefs, chef's hat, chef's hats, corruption, white collar crime, white collar crimes, financial crime, financial crimes, businessmen, businessman
"Hello, San Antonio - are you ready to rock in a fiscally responsible way?"
Tags:fiscal responsibility, fiscal responsibilities, accountant, accountants, accountancy, account, accounts, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping, bookkeep, bookkeeps, book-keeping, book-keeper, book-keepers, rock band, rock bands, rocker, rockers, rock show, rock shows, rock star, rock stars, concert, concerts, rock concert, rock concerts, number cruncher, number crunchers, number crunching
"He's charged with expressing contempt for data-processing."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, worker, workers, employee, employees, office, offices, office life, date processing, data-processing, data entry, data processor, data processors, bookkeeping, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, arrested, arresting, police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, cop, cops, police station, police stations, charging, charged, contempt, hatred, dislike, hate, complaint, complaints, complaining
'Now, using a little accounting magic on your tax return, one and one equals three.'
'Why do you think we're paying you all this money - to tell the truth?'
Accountant sings the blues
"Perhaps we've cut the royal budget too much."
Tags:king, kings, royal, royals, royal court, royal courts, budget, budgets, government, governments, fiscal responsibility, fiscal policy, fiscal conservatives, budget cut, budget cuts, austerity, economics, economy, economic policy, government budget, federal spending, government spending, red carpet, red carpets, humbled royalty, humbled king, embarrassing, embarrass, regret, regrets, policy impact, accountant, accountants, bookkeepers, bookkeeper, financial officer, financial officers
'We've discovered the Cave of Missing Accounting Ledgers.'
'For the right price, I could find a way to make bribes deductible.'