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"You know, when I get over my thing for bad boys, Chip, you're going to be one of the first to know."
"So what if he doesn't know Ovid. He knows Ovitz."
"Down, girl. He only got 2 out of 5 stars."
"Why do all the hot sex robots go for brainless pretty boy sex robots, instead of enlightened chivalrous guys like me?"
Dude you're dating, ideal boyfriend, his dog
"No, actually you're very different from the women I usually date."
"My god she is perfect!"
Dorothy and the singles bar
"If you like I can set you up with a bullet I dodged."
"It's getting so hard to meet men now, that I actually called my ex-husband for a date...but hi WIFE wouldn't let him go out!"
"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"
"Sure he's cute. . . but he's just too childish!"
"I think I was a little ambitious asking for a Brad Pitt look alike, now I'm just looking for 'male, with a heartbeat'."
"I was hoping for someone with poor eyesight and no imagination."
"The date was going well until he turned up!"
"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."
"Yeah, I lost a potentially serious boyfriend over a texting typo. I told him I had a DUI instead of an IUD, and I never heard from him again."
"Oh super! Why do I always draw the short straw?!"
Social worker dating
"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"
It was the first blind date she'd been on where she wished she was actually blind.
'He's the perfect date, he makes me feel so thin.'
Colin believed that on a first date it was important to 'dress to impress'.