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"You know, when I get over my thing for bad boys, Chip, you're going to be one of the first to know."
"So what if he doesn't know Ovid. He knows Ovitz."
"No, actually you're very different from the women I usually date."
"My god she is perfect!"
Dorothy and the singles bar
"It's getting so hard to meet men now, that I actually called my ex-husband for a date...but hi WIFE wouldn't let him go out!"
"I swear, the only decent men around here are either married...or gay...or they're one of my ex-husbands!"
"Sure he's cute. . . but he's just too childish!"
"I think I was a little ambitious asking for a Brad Pitt look alike, now I'm just looking for 'male, with a heartbeat'."
"I was hoping for someone with poor eyesight and no imagination."
"The date was going well until he turned up!"
"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."
"Cindy, this is Steve - he's got a lot of potential, but he needs a little work."
"Yeah, I lost a potentially serious boyfriend over a texting typo. I told him I had a DUI instead of an IUD, and I never heard from him again."
Social worker dating
"Is there a doctor in the house...hopefully unmarried?"
It was the first blind date she'd been on where she wished she was actually blind.
'He's the perfect date, he makes me feel so thin.'
Colin believed that on a first date it was important to 'dress to impress'.
"Isn't he a doll? And the best part is he hasn't been neutered!"
'I was not rejected! I was mis-filed.'
'Harold's sweet, smart, funny, thoughtful and rich. Maybe if I squint he won't look that old to to me...'
Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .
'She's always been into pad boys.'