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Burglar Moving Co.
"I forgot. My brother Woolard is coming by."
Tags:visitor, visitors, guest, guests, house guest, house guests, unexpected guest, unexpected guests, brother, brothers, brother in law, brother in laws, brother-in-law, brother-in-laws, in law, in laws, in-law, in-laws, fright, frights, break in, break ins.break-in, break-ins, breaking and entering
"Now he expects to come in whenever there's a cold snap."
Tags:horse, horses, cold snap, cold snaps, weather, cold weather, bad weather, spoilt, expectation, expectations, unrealistic expectations, breaking and entering, pony, ponies, pet, pets, care giver, care givers, caregiver, caregivers, horse owner, horse owners, hillbilly, hillbillies, farm, farmers, farmer, farms, ranch, cattle ranch, cattle ranches, ranches, west, western, wild west, couple, couples, elderly couples, elderly couple, mollycoddle, mollycoddled, overprotective, over-protective, over protective
'Although most people think of it as something new, keyless entry technology has actually been around for hundreds of years!'
"It's the dog."
Tags:dogs in, dogs out, let the dog in, breaking and entering, break in, break-in, breaking in, trespassing, trespassed, trespasser, window, windows, apartment, apartments, marriage, married, married life, bed, bedtime, night time, burglar, burglary, burglars, through the window, dog, dogs, doggo, doge, pet, pets, domestic pet, domestic pets
Man selling Security Systems: 'If that's too expensive for you, perhaps I could interest you in a false sense of security.'
'Your client is not charged with trying to get into good spirits. He is charged with breaking into a liquor store.'
"I didn't raise you to steal tacky c**p."
Tags:theft, thief, thieves, thieving, steal, stealing, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, petty crime, petty crimes, petty theft, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, growing up, raising kids, raising children, tack, tacky, junk, rubbish, bric a brac, bric-a-brac, ornament, ornaments, breaking and entering, burglar, burglars, burglary, burglaries, swag, swag bag, swag bags, loot, looting, bad quality, materialism, materialistic
"Try to look more like you're breaking in."
Tags:artist, artists, painter, painters, painting, portrait, portraits, portraiture, drawing from life, painting from life, burglar, burglars, thief, thieves, break-in, break-ins, break in, break ins, breaking and entering, balaclava, balaclavas, pretentious, pretentiousness, pretension, life drawing, life painting, criminal, criminals
Man in the Ceiling
'I hate it when you work from home.'
Tags:burglar, burglars, burgle, burgles, robber, robbers, robbing, working from home, work from home, home work, home working, homeworking, spouse, spouses, wife, wives, complain, complains, complaining, complaint, complaints, breaking and entering, b&e, steal, steals, stealing, criminal, criminals, life of crime, vandal, vandals, vandalism
'We got tired of being broken into.'
Santa Claus wanted poster.
"I don't see you pencilled in my calendar, Armstrong."
Tags:meeting, meetings, business meeting, business meetings, performance review, performance reviews, corporate ladder, the corporate ladder, career ladder, the career ladder, management style, management styles, under reaction, under reaction, appointment, appointments, booking an appointment, highrise, highrises, skyscraper, skyscrapers, breaking in, breaking and entering, caught, caught in the act
"Honey, I'm home!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, talking pet, talking pets, pet owner, pet owners, bird, birds, parrot, parrots, coming home, returning home, security, home security, robber, robbers, robbery, robberies, breaking in, breaking and entering, thief, thieves, burglar, burglars, burglary, burglaries, crime, criminal, criminals, warning, warnings
Thieves searching for money down the back of the sofa.
The Shed of Doom Mystery: '...but daddy has another thought...He calls it 'the shed of private property,' and its filled with lawsuits for anyone opening it.'
'Well, well, well -- seven hundred and fifty thousand counts of breaking and entering....'
'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'
"...that on the night of December 24th you did willfully buzz a crowded residential neighborhood and then tried to bribe the arresting officer with milk and cookies."
"I was arrested for breaking into bars, ironic huh?"
"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"
"This job has got a lot easier since the police gave up on burglaries."
Tags:santa claus, santa, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, elf, elves, santa's little helpers, christmas, xmas, x-mas, crime, burglar, burglars, burglary, breaking and entering, breaking in, break-in, break-ins, break in, break ins, crime increase, crime increases
'It's a ransom note from the intruder - and look, he drew a cute little Snoopy cartoon.'
'Look out!! My wife is going to hit your with my new 2-iron!'
Tags:golf, golfer, golfers, burglar, burglars, burglary, burglaries, home invasion, home invasions, self-defence, self-defense, golf club, golf clubs, iron, irons, 2-iron, 2-irons, thief, thieves, criminal, criminals, crime, crimes, robber, robbers, robbery, robberies, b and e, breaking and entering, b&e