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'if you have to ask how much, you can't afford to influence a candidate.'
"Sorry, all the wings are standard."
Tipping the I.R.S.
Tags:tax, taxes, taxing, taxed, tax return, tax returns, internal revenue service, irs, i.r.s., hmrc, her majesty's revenue and customs, her majestys revenue and customs, hm revenue and customs, tax collecting, tax collector, tax man, taxman, service, tip, tips, tipping, hopeful, unhelpful, disliked, government, governments, money, monies, law, laws, return, returns, unusual, unlikely, bribe, bribes, bribery, corruption, corrupt
'So, for every day that your math grade stays below a B, your father will post a video of himself on YouTube.'
"Sure you can see Mr. Donaldson; just cross my palm with silver."
Tags:receptionist, receptionists, business meeting, business meetings, bribe, bribes, bribery, making the most, expense, expensive, inaccessible, inaccessibility, gatekeeper, gatekeepers, the gatekeeper, hierarchy, hierarchies, office hierarchy, office hierarchies, cross my palm, cross my palm with silver
"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."
Tags:perk, perks, president, presidents, 2016 presidential election, election, elections, election coverage, presidential race, election, elections, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, dog, dogs, dog lover, dog lovers, dog owner, dog owners, dog person, dog people, puppy, puppies, bribe, bribes, bribery, old man, old men, old women, old women
Tags:bohemian, bohemians, boho, poem, poems, poet, poets, poetry, bribe, bribes, bribery, culture, cultural difference, cultural differences, interpretative dance, interpretative dances, interpretative dancer, art, artist, artists, artistic, pretentious, pretentiousness, game the system, gaming the system, parent, parents, parenting, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, school admissions, private school, private schools, good school, good schools
Jimmy B.'s guide to sleazeball
Bribing St. Peter
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, bribe, bribes, bribery, cant take it with you, can't take it with you, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, hopeless, punishments, corrupt, corruption, white collar crime
"Just tell us what we want to know, and you can sit in the comfortable chair."
'Before we discuss some of Bradley's issues, the superintendent is willing to offer you $25,000 to move out of the district.'
Plaque on judge's desk: 'No tipping.'
"Well, that satisfies our financial requirement."
Tags:money, business, gangsters, financial requirement, financial requirements, co-op, co-ops, finances, bribe, bribes, bribery, organized crime, gangster, mob, mobs, mafia, mafia member, mafia members, suitcase, suitcases, suitcase of cash, suitcases of cash, cash incentive, cash incentives, board meeting, board meetings, moneyed interest, moneyed interests, corruption, corrupt, corrupt industry, corrupt industries, mankoff
"There's a sexual favor in it for you if you don't utter the word 'impeachment.'"
Tags:couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, bribe, bribes, bribed, family, visiting family, in laws, parents in law, parent, parents, news, divisive politics, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration, trump scandal, trump scandals, trump controversy, trump controversies, impeachment, trump impeachment
"Then we carefully disguise the bribes as legal fees by changing the word 'bribes' to 'legal fees.'"
Tags:legal, legal fees, bribe, bribes, cooking the books, cook the books, bribery, politician, politicians, politically, scandal, scandals, current event, current events, news, news cycle, news cycles, fee, fees, hidden, hidden money, white collar crime, white collar crimes, bribing, lawyer, lawyers, judge, judges, judiciary, judicial
'At Filmore holdings, we don't break the law. We donate to politicians to change the law.'
"We're running an intervention on you, Jack, but if you'll buy us a drink we'll forget about it."
'That flight is totally booked, but for $100 I can arrange for you to ride in the lavatory.'
"I'm not saying this candidate wouldn't be expensive, but he's well within our budget."
Tags:elect, election, elections, budget, budgets, campaign, campaigns, influence, influential, influencing, puppet, puppets, puppeteer, politic, politics, political, candidate, candidates, purchase, purchasing, power, powerful, purchase, purchased, purchasing power, bribe, bribes, comment, commentary, critique, modern, modern world, modern life, government, governmental, cash, money is power, power is money, unconstitutional, treason
"I figure if I just keep barking eventually someone will offer me hush money."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, barking, annoying, quiet, peace and quiet, silence, buying silence, peace and quiet, hush money, blackmail, payoff, payoffs, extortion, kickback, kickbacks, bribe, bribes, money, wordplay, word play, play on words
"Come on,Gelphin, every man has his price. How much for that hair of yours?"
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, hair, bald, balding, hair loss, alopecia, price, prices, toupee, toupees, wig, wigs, realistic, hairstyle, hairstyles, good hair, offer, offers, offering, money, bribery, bribe, bribes, inducement, inducing, inducements, every man has his price, proverb, proverbs, expression, expressions
Waiting For Godot
Tags:beckett, samuel beckett, playwright, playwrights, play, plays, bribe, bribes, bribery, hangman, hangmen, kill time, kills time, killing time, impatient, impatience, twenty questions, road trip, road trips, grandchild, grandson, grandsons, granddaughter, granddaughters, grandmothers, grandparent, grandparents, wait, waits, waiting, long wait, long waits
"You can eat the one marshmallow right now, or if you wait fifteen minutes, I'll give you two marshmallows and swear you in as President of the United States."
Tags:political leader, political leaders, government, governments, president, presidents, politics, political, melania, donald, trump, incompetent, incompetence, election, elections, judge, judges, justice, chief justice, inauguration, swearing in, oath, oaths, the donald, toupee, toupees, tiny hands, little hands, baby hands, small hands, first lady, first ladies, potus, maga, make america great again, republican, republicans, gop, grand ole party, bribe, bribes, rewards, reward, child, children, kid, kids
Ice cream flavors.
Tags:ice cream, ice cream parlor, ice cream parlors, ice cream parlour, ice cream parlours, bribe, bribes, tantrum, tantrums, temper tantrum, temper tantrums, placate, placates, flavor, flavors, flavour, flavours, distraction, distractions, reward, rewarding, bad behavior, hissy fit, rage, rages, enraged, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, pacify, pacifies, pacifying, distract, distracts
'Sure I'm depressed. I'm the senior senator from my state and the junior senator already has more conflicts of interest.'