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Doctor: 'Your discomfort may well be a bandwidth issue.'
"But ask yourself, do you really need high speed broadband?"
"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."
Tags:at&t, at&t break up, telecom, telecommunications, phone, phones, phone company, major corporation, corporation, corporations, bell system, phone company, bell south, bell atlantic, qwest, centurylink, decreased profit, higher phone bills, high bills, expensive, verizon, landline phones, landline, wireless, broadband
"In return for an increase in my allowance, I can offer you free unlimited in-home computer tech support."
"Broadband...yeah, it's great, now our totally useless website loads even faster."
"Look, Mom! A broadband digital subscriber line followed me home. Can we keep it?"
'No wifi?. . .No 3G, either?!. . .Lousy tropical paradise!'
'Hello, I'm your new service provider'.
"You mean to say, you don't even have broadband?"
'Sorry it's taking so long to load. I'm still on dial-up.'
"Would it be too much to ask to get a DSL in here?"
Tags:dsl, digital subscriber line, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jail, jailbird, internet, computer, online, tech, technology, incarceration, incarcerated, telecom, telecommunications, modem, modems, phone service, internet service, broadband, wifi, router, routers, locked up, prison cell, sentence, sentencing, sentenced
'Dial-up service? What's a dial?'
'We're roughing it... no WIFI.'
"Susanna Explaining Broadband to the Elders."
Tags:broadband, broadband connection, internet, internet connection, wifi, wi fi, wi-fi, modern life, modern times, tech, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, behind the times, out of touch, out of date, old person, old people, elderly person, elderly people, male pale stale, usurp, usurped, redundant, redundancy, made redundant, new technology, new technologies
The copier is making a whining noise.
"So that's why wi-fi is so slow!"
"It's no secret that rural broadband coverage is a scandal. Everyone knows that it's holding back development and it's a nightmare for locals."
'This looks like a good spot to catch up on our email.'
"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."
'Gentlemen, I apologize, but you've exceeded your band's width.'
'Since we switched back to dial up, office productivity has increased. I think the staff grew impatient with the slow internet connections and stopped using the computers for personal use.'
'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'
"I suppose you're using all the modern technology, dynamic packaging, skype, web marketing..." "Yes, we even use carrier-pigeon.com."
"This computer has a fast modem, latest pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband net connections. Only one problem, slow pointer fingers."
Broadband is Near
Tags:apocalypse, the apocalypse, end of days, the end of days, end of the world, the end of the world, doomsayer, doomsayers, scaremonger, scaremongerer, doom merchant, doom merchant, prophet, prophets, broadband, internet, the internet, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, placard, placards, internet speed, internet speeds, no internet, bad internet