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"Good afternoon, Mister Absentee."
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absentee, absentees, ww2, wwii, world war two, world war ii, the draft, drafting, drafted, medical exemptions, medical exemption, broken leg, broken arm, injured, injury, neighbour, neighbor, judgmental, judgy, judgemental neighbours, judgmental neighbors, social pressure, social pressures, vintage, wartime cartoon, wartime cartoons, 1940s, 1940s america"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."
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handshake, handshakes, fist bump, fist bumps, fist bumping, bumping fists, greet, greets, greeting, culture clash, culture clashes, new job, new jobs, adjustment, adjustments, adjustment period, adjustment periods, settle in, settles in, settling in, broken arm, broken arms, broken hand, broken hands, broken bone, broken bones, career change, career changes, commiserate, commiserates, commiserating, culture shock, culture shocks, system shock, system shocks, socially awkward, social awkwardness'Good news. We've decided to give you the game ball.'
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american football, football, american football player, american football players, play, playing, played, plays, player, players, injury, injured, injuring, injuries, sports injury, sporting injury, the game ball, good news, broken leg, broken arm, broken arms, broken legs, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."
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doctor, doctors, dog, dogs, medical appointment, medical appointments, bedside manner, medical professional, medical professionals, cast, casts, broken arm, broken bone, fracture, fractures, lick, licks, lick it better, licked better, hind legs, treat, treats, treating, treatment, pet, pets, nurse, code of conduct, patient, patients, children"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."
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patient, patients, hospital bed, hospital beds, broken bone, broken bones, broken all your bones, full body cast, body cast, broken arm, broken arms, broken leg, broken legs, accident, accidents, viral video, viral videos, gone viral, going viral, funny video, funny videos, consolation, consolations'Sorry I'm late. Couldn't find a parking space so I crashed into the building.'
"Nowadays, Mr. Lambert, we practice preventive medicine. In laymen's terms, this means I don't do a damn thing until I talk to my lawyer."
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hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, treatment, treatments, treating, preventative medicine, preventative healthcare, examination, examinations, exam, exams, broken arm, broken bone, broken bones, laymen, malpractice, medical malpractice, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, litigation, litigious, lawsuit, lawsuits, legal advice, modern life'There's nothing wrong with my arm - I wear it to get out of washing the dishes!'
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chore, chores, housework, household chore, household chores, house work, broken arm, broken arms, cast, casts, broken bone, broken bones, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, shrinking, sling, slings, trick, tricks, tricked, tricking'It's really unlucky: It's the one I write with...'
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octopi, arms, broken arm, broken arms, plaster cast, plaster casts, casts, writes, writing, writing letters, hospitals, broken bone, broken bones, writing hand, writing hands, octopus, arm, broken, cast, write, luck, unlucky, hospital, bone, injuryLeg in a sling 'Are you sure this is the correct treatment for a broken leg?'
'Well, a quick yank didn't work, either. Let's get you some lower tack bandages.'
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doctor, doctors, patients, patient, hospital, hospitals, broken bones, broken arm, broken arms, plaster, plasters, exam, examination, physical, sick, clinic, bandage, bandages, adhesive, strips, tape, first aid, medical exam, medical exams, medical examination"And what damages are you suing for?"
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lawsuit, lawsuits, law suit, law suits, damage, damages, sue, sues, suing, suing for damages, medical bill, medical bills, cripple, cripples, crippled, broken bone, broken bones, frivolous lawsuit, frivolous lawsuits, court case, court cases, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, broken arm, broken arms, obvious question, obvious questions'True, I was all for your taking up a hobby on retirement, but, TIGHTROPE-WALKING...!'
"No, I don't actually feel sorry for you, I'm just practicing active listening."