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"If you're not happy with the brokerage of with my service the commission checks will mean nothing to me."
Why financial regulatory laws are required...
Markets and Marketabilityby Jane Austen
Tags:stocks, stock, stocks and shares, share, shares, invest, investing, investment, invested, investment banking, stock market, the market, market, markets, bond, bonds, premium bonds, stock exchange, exchange, broker, brokers, stock broker, brokerage, economics, economically, playing the market, austen, jane austen, regency, regency england, england, english literature, writer, writers, novel, novella, novels, novel writing, poem, poet, poetry, poets, poetic, literature, literary, word play, play on words, ironic, irony, author, authors, authored, book, books, book lover, artist, artists, art, arts, culture, cultured, writer's block, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover
'Yes, it went from 100 to 2, which is down 98%, but then it went from 2 to 4, which is up 100%, so you're ahead.'
'You're not going to lose a cent with the Bermuda Triangle Fund. Every dollar I've ever put into it is still there...somewhere.'
'How do you become a day trading millionaire? Easy, just start out as a day trading billionaire.'
The Employee Lounge at Goldman Sachs
Tags:investment banking, money, bank, banking, wall street, wealthy, wealthy people, rich, rich people, pool of money, pools of money, bankers, banker, finances, financial, financial services, broker, brokers, brokerage, asset management, pool party, party, parties, affluent, cash, dollars, millionaire, millionaires, billionaire, billionaires
'I know you purchased the stock at fifty and now it's ten, and they filed for bankruptcy, but let's not read too much into that.'
Thurston Pendleton: Independently Broke
Tags:broke, bankrupt, declare bankruptcy, bankruptcy, insolvent, insolvency, independently, independent, independent broker, broker, broker, broker-dealers, advisor, adviser, advisors, advisers, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, securities, investment, brokerage, penniless, destitute, necessitous
'What do we have in the way of investments for someone who claims to have a six-figure beta?'
'There lies a stockbroker and a trustworthy human being? I didn't know you could bury two people in the same grave.'
Career tips $1.
'Oh well, instant fortune was declared illegal anyway.'
'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'
Broker to customer: 'Your stock in the underwear company split.'
'I've just remembered I was going to rename the portfolio I'd worked out with you before I presented you with it.'
Animals Working as Brokers
'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'
'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'
'Here comes your confirmation slip from the discount broker.'
'Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in tech stocks', meet Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in bio-tech'.'
'I said I'd invest your money as if it was my own, and I have. I've invested it in my pool, my car and my boat.'
'There, there - don't think of Harold as being dead. Just think of him as being perfectly hedged for perpetuity.'
'Okay, so they rate the stock a 'strong buy' while we rate it a 'strong sell'. At least we both feel strongly about it.'
'But Speedy! Unauthorized tradig is against the law! You will? You'll give me authorization to trade Mrs. Polk's account? Thanks, Speed!'