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'I have to say I had a different impression of what Reiki is all about.'
'Make me one with everything.'
"So the answer to eternal happiness isn't an upgrade?"
Buddhist - You were here.
"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"
'The meaning of life is location,location,location.'
'Never mind about inner peace and happiness, there's a sink full of washing up waiting in the kitchen.'
'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'
'Serenity, calmness, peace, nirvana, enlightenment....I just can't take the pressure any more!'
"You caught a rare Buddhafly!"
"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."
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'I can't believe it's not Buddha.'
'Sell during a boom; buy during a bust - that sounds more like Warren Buffett instead of Buddha.'
'That's 'Buddha,' not 'Bubba'!'
'Unfortunately, we don't know as much as we'd like as to why French restaurants serve skimpy portions.'
' thought I had reached true enlightenment, but it was only my underwear binding on me.'
'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'
'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'
Man on the mountain nearly hit by falling boulder.
There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.
Silly questions to ask Buddha: 'And is that your christian name?'