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'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'
'As I said to Phil, 'Call a plumber!''
"The good news is I've found a plumber...the bad news is he's coming from China. "
"I've fixed the problem. It's just water under the fridge now."
I bought one of those sound machines to help me sleep. I set the sound to running water, woke up and called the plumber.
' So as you can see,the water main 300 main ahead has burst.'
I hate it when they start without us.
'Maybe I did forget to turn off the water in the tub.'
'You can't blame everything on global warming, I told you not to flush.'
'Fortunately it's the hot water pipe - it will save you having to wash your feet to-night.'