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Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.
Negative bar is taped onto bar graph in business meeting.
"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."
"The new tax software is a real eye opener. Every misguided, impulsive purchase I made for the business last year really pops and sizzles in a visual data format!"
"We have lots of information technology. We just don't have any information."
"... and thanks to the Great Anton with his powers of levitation, our customer intelligence numbers are up for the fourth consecutive month."
'We've got a nice looking trend line here - I'd like to thank the entire team for contributing this data, including Gerald, for the outlier.'
'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'
'This new water cooler streamlines the gossip process - we get all the numbers and none of the fluff. The R.O.I. just sky rocketed!'
'Let me introduce you to James, our data steward, Bill, our data custodian, and 'Moose,' our data bodyguard.'
'I don't know, I just thought my data dashboard could use some fuzzy dice.'
'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'
'In celebration of Thanksgiving, this week's pie charts are all pumpkin flavored!'
'Last month's sales figures went very well. So well, in fact, they fell back and crushed the previous months.'
Charts and Graphs Greatest Hits
"At least we are consistently inconsistent."
'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'
"Is there a dummy's guide for this book?"
Directory charts for those lost in complicated requirements documents.
"I'll need all the information you can find on why I need so much information."
'He's working on the great American requirements document.'