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'You're not in the CIA anymore, Phil. This is the corporate world. We don't indefinitely detain suspected business competitors.'
'We think we may be a victim of corporate espionage.'
'We feel that being one step ahead of the competition is no longer an adequate buffer zone.'
"Our rivals are in the top ten percent. We can do better. I want us in the top fifteen percent."
"If your idea is so innovative and unique, why aren't out competitors doing it?"
"It never fails! I turn my back for a few days, and we're OVERRUN with pesky little competitors sprouting up in our own back yard!"
'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'
The best way to beat the competition is by not having any.
"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"
"My crop was destroyed by the flood."
"No business opportunity is ever lost. If you fumble it your competitor will find it."
'We need to take a holistic approach to the market: We want the whole market.'
A competitor goes into a revolving door behind you and comes out ahead.
Serious Competition: Thingamajigs and Whatchamacallits.
Grabem & Squeeze: All of the other stuff.
'And I can assure you, Bob, those rumours of a hostile takeover are completely false!'
'It doesn't look good. Some of our nationals are at war with some of our other nationals.'
"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."
"The good news is that the training was very well received. The bad news is that most of the staff have taken their new skills to our competitors."
"I'm in competition with myself...... and I'm losing."