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'Well, for two companies with such different corporate cultures, I think the merger's going surprisingly well!'
'Kid, never forget that every person you meet has a unique story to tell. And if you take time to stop and REALLY listen to each one, I guarantee you'll hear something that can be used against them when you need it most!'
'Whenever I get discouraged, I just say to myself 'Sure, my company exploits indigenous people around the world, plunders natural resources and leaves desolation in its wake, but, by golly, that's not what defines me as a person!...''
'It's not an electrical problem. Something's wrong with your corporate DNA!'
"Bad news - turns out the seed money for our organic food startup was genetically modified."
Tags:genetically modified, genetic modification, genetic modifications, seed money, seed moneys, startup cost, startup costs, start up cost, start up costs, start-up cost, start-up costs, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, organic food, organic foods, organic produce, organic business, business ethics, business ethic, organic businesses, hypocrisy, hypocrite, hypocrites
'We'd like you to develop a truth drug. One that makes other people think that we're telling the truth.'
'There are some ethical roadblocks, so do we use our Greedy Positioning System or our moral compass to find a detour?'
'A dynamite sales idea, Lou. I'm just sorry I have to notify the police.'
'You do as you're told, we pay as we please...That, in a nutshell, is our corporate culture.'
'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'
The Ekert Saga: 'Let's put it this way...can you imagine how the world would be if everyone actually practiced hat they preach about following the 'golden rule'?
The Ekert Saga: '...without pettiness, feah and greed, we wouldn't need lawyahs, news media or even a government...and megaconglomecorp owns and operates all of it...and, no, I don't know how you apply fah a job theah.'
Acts of God and Acts of the Devil
"It seems to me it's a little unethical to recommend only ethical companies."
'From time to time we like to upgrade our mission statement.'
'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'
'It's quite the Horatio Alger story, isn't it? Humble origins in a single drop of pond water, gradually devouring every competitor in sight. Naturally, it was just a matter of time before you decided to join our company!'
'Gosh, it just breaks my heart to see someone so young and talented held back by his own chronic decency!'
'No, that's Frank, Karl's younger brother. He was an early champion of leveraged buy-outs and tax-sheltered annuities!'
'Greed, sloth, envy, pride, lust, gluttony, wrath. Hey, it sounds just like my old office.'
'Not to toot my own horn, but I'm widely considered to be the spiritual godfather of all the corrupt, arrogant, obscenely overpaid and ultimately disastrous CEOs so prevalent in the past hundred years!'
'Astonishing! I just used a compass to follow the moral course of our company!'
'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'
'This is excellent. Wow, it's amazing what we can accomplish when you let me take all the credit.'