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'Can I claim the cost of my nervous breakdown as a business expense?'
'You deducted whoopie cushions as a business expense Just what kind of business are you in, Mr, Quincy'
'Even if your dog does do 'His Business' in your basement, you still can't deduct it as office space.'
'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'
"It is important to own your feelings. Besides, you can always write them off as a business expense."
'It was the perfect crime, until I deducted my burglar tools as a business expense.'
"What do you mean I can't claim these books on 'tax evasion' as a business expense?"
Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.
Tags:
, asset, assets, management, employee, manager, boss, ceo, company, employees, managers, bosses, ceo's, companies, working, office worker, office workers, tax, taxes, business lunch, business lunches, business expenses, business expense"Don't think of this as losing our lease, think of it as enjoying an open-space work environment."
"Yes, the biggest goose you can find - take it to the Cratchet's! And get a receipt - it's a legitimate business expense!"
"Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you."
Tags:
expenses, expenses account, expenses accounts, financial director, financial directions, business lunch, business lunches, business expense, business expenses, corporate culture, corporate environment, expenses fraud, white collar crime, white collar crimes, account, accounts, accountancy, bookkeeper, bookkeepers, bookkeeping"What do you mean, you want more per diem? You can get a burger or 2 tacos for 99 cents!"
'Sticks and stones may break my bones but the billing department is tracing this call.'
'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'
"The best part is, I get to write it off as a business expense."
Tags:
expense, expenses, business expense, business expenses, beg, begs, beggar, begger, beggers, beggars, begging, begged, tramp, tramps, bum, bums, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, homeless, homelessness, poor, poverty, hobo, hobos'See if you can get them to flambe the check, too.'
Tags:
bills, flambe, waiters, expenses, business lunch, business expense, expense, bill, money, expense account, client, entertain, entertainment, fire, restaurant, waiter, job, work, worker, working, bistro, eat, food, eatery, eating, overeat, overeating, wine, champagne, beverage'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'
Tags:
bankrupt, bankrupted, bankruptcies, bankruptcy, bills, bill, expense, money, businessmen, treats, law, legal, court, debt, debtor, creditor, credit, treat, bistro, eatery, eat, food, eating, business expense, client, finance, financial, personal finance, lifestyle'I want to claim this on expenses.'
Tags:
duck, ducks, bird, birds, animal, animals, crutch, crutches, broken leg, broken bone, broken bones, injury, injuries, injured, injure, expenses, expense, claim, claims, claiming, claimed, fee, fees, company account, company accounts, business expense, business expenses"So, you're claiming 32 million gifts as a legitimate business expense."
"Before I approve your attendance to this conference, ask yourself these 3 questions. First, is this beneficial to our organization? Second, is this beneficial to my professional development? And lastly, does my supervisor give a damn?"