Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'
Rex and Rusty simply didn't understand that no matter how snappy their sales presentation was, it would always look like a dog and pony show.
'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'
'Granted, the Board of Directors didn't think much of your proposal, but I think they'll be impressed by your resilience!'
The Elevator Pitch of Frankenstein
"Hey, do any of you guys want to start a gang?"
Tags:gang, gangs, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, corporate environment, corporate environments, gangster, gangsters, business pitch, business pitches, boardroom, boardrooms, business proposal, business proposals, crime, crimes, organized crime, organized crimes, organised crime, organised crimes
"I'm sorry, Ms. Farkas can't see you right now. Can you come back when you're more important?"
'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'
'Inform their C.E.O., C.F.O. and C.O.O. that their proposal is D.O.A..'
A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'
"It's a swell offer, Brad, and you're a great guy, but I've just got out of a bad limited partnership, and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment yet."
'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'
'This will make the consumers think differently about our bacteria problem,'
"And so, while the end-of-the-world scenario will be rife with unimaginable horrors, we believe that the pre-end period will be filled with unprecedented opportunities for profit."
'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'
'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'
'Here's where you give me non-comprehending nods of approval.'
'Whoops. That's upside down.'
"You say it's a win-win, but what if you're wrong-wrong and it all goes bad-bad?"
Tags:win-win, win, situation, business pitch, business pitches, businessmen, businessman, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, business plan, business plans, business strategy, business strategies, corporate culture, win-win situation, profit, profits, business jargon, corporate jargon
Focus Group Failures
'Or to put it in marketing terms, you want more whizbang, we'll need more gizmos.'
'Looks good. Let me run it past the number-crunchers.'
"Thanks for your interest in my company but we do not make medical pot pies."
'Your would have to ask if there were any questions.'
'So that's my presentation. When do I get the half million dollars?'