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'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'
Rex and Rusty simply didn't understand that no matter how snappy their sales presentation was, it would always look like a dog and pony show.
'And out hospital has rooms...lots of rooms, and some beds, and we've got stairs.'
'Granted, the Board of Directors didn't think much of your proposal, but I think they'll be impressed by your resilience!'
"My door is always open. My mind, not so much."
Tags:boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, open door policy, open-door-policy, open-door-policies, open minded, open mindedness, open-minded, proposal, proposals, pitch, pitches, business pitch, corporate culture, office politics, closed minded, innovator, innovators, innovation, innovations
The Elevator Pitch of Frankenstein
"Hey, do any of you guys want to start a gang?"
Tags:gang, gangs, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, corporate environment, corporate environments, gangster, gangsters, business pitch, business pitches, boardroom, boardrooms, business proposal, business proposals, crimes, organized crime, organized crimes, organised crime, organised crimes
"I'm sorry, Ms. Farkas can't see you right now. Can you come back when you're more important?"
"If they don't like our proposal I'll show them the kittens. Everyone likes kittens."
'Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing.'
'Inform their C.E.O., C.F.O. and C.O.O. that their proposal is D.O.A..'
A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'
"It's a swell offer, Brad, and you're a great guy, but I've just got out of a bad limited partnership, and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment yet."
'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'
"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"
"You have until he rolls his eyes and looks at his watch."
Tags:boss, bosses, employee, employees, meeting the boss, meeting with the boss, pitch, pitches, business pitch, business pitches, rolls eyes, roll eyes, rolling your eyes, short attention span, attention span, attention spans, passive aggressive, passive aggression, cowed, frightened, worried, big meeting, big meetings
'This will make the consumers think differently about our bacteria problem,'
"And so, while the end-of-the-world scenario will be rife with unimaginable horrors, we believe that the pre-end period will be filled with unprecedented opportunities for profit."
'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'
'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'
'Here's where you give me non-comprehending nods of approval.'
'Whoops. That's upside down.'
"Damn it, gentlemen, these are medieval times. They demand medieval ideas."
Tags:medieval, medieval period, medieval times, middle ages, primitive, primitiveness, uncivilized, uncivilised, business pitch, business pitches, oral hygiene, hygiene, unhygienic, dentist, dentists, dentistry, dental surgery, toothpaste, toothbrush, history of medicine, business plan, business plans, business strategy, business strategies
"You say it's a win-win, but what if you're wrong-wrong and it all goes bad-bad?"
Tags:win-win, win, situation, business pitch, business pitches, businessmen, businessman, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, business plan, business plans, business strategy, business strategies, corporate culture, win-win situation, profit, profits, business jargon, corporate jargon
Focus Group Failures