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Change Management: Here There,,,'We thought we'd put in the detail later,'
'As part of our growth strategy we intend to build 76% more of them...as soon as we find out what they do!'
"Cosgrove, why don't you tell us what you did on your summer vacation while your department fell into disarray and your projections proved to be woefully inaccurate."
Tags:business model, business models, business plan, business plans, summer, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, travel plans, business projection, business projections, business forecast, business forecasts, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, manager, managers, management, managements, bad manager, bad managers, financial projection, financial projections, performance review, performance reviews, appraisal, appraisals, job review, job reviews
"Damn, I think I ate Plan B."
Tags:plan b, plan bs, backup plan, backup plans, back-up plan, back-up plans, corporate greed, dragon, dragons, devil, devils, forked tail, forked tails, businessmen, businessman, businessmen, businessman, fat cat, fat cats, corporate culture, business plan, business plans, strategy meeting, strategy meetings
Hot dog vendor is struck by a new business strategy...Grilled Bankers.
'What this business really needs now is some credibility...so let's start with 1,000 social media followers, how much will that set us back??'
'I thought you could help me fill in the details.'
'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'
'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'
'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'
We thought we'd put in the detail later.
"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."
"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."
'Unfortunately our policy initiative of a '360' degree client facing strategic realignment of core structural...'
'So it's decided - we'll put the clocks back 5 years and everything will be fine again.'
'In these estimates, I've tried, like always, to err on the side of total lunacy.'
"Don't worry! We have a plan, so we will appear like we have a solution."
'Executive Fitness Plan'
Tags:executives, executive, business executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, business manager, business managers, exercise, exercising, weight lifting, weight lifter, weight lifters, body building, body builder, body builders, briefcase, briefcases, business plan, business plans, fitness plan, fitness plans
'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'
'I used to provide capital for business startups. Here's my card. I'm an angel investor.'
'To sum up, today's business world can be divided into 2 categories: companies that get it, and companies that don't!' 'Get what?' 'Make that 3 categories.'
Denial as a form of corporate negotiation.
"First we get a bunch of cows."
We thought we'd put in the details later!
'Man, I need to update my business.'