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'Oh,you know, the usual...500 channels and nothing on.'
Morning Lineup of Programs on ASC, the All-Security Camera Station:
"You wanna watch the Hunting Channel or the Gathering Network?"
Tags:hunting, hunter, hunters, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gatherers, network, networks, channel, channels, cable, cable channel, cable channels, cable package, cable packages, couch potato, couch potatoes, choice, choices, option, options, special interest, special interest, interest, interests, interest group, interest groups, lazy, laziness, slacker, slackers, slack off, slacking off, modern life, modern times, exercise, exercises, exercising, lack of exercise, unhealthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyles
"When did they add this channel?!"
"Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the, 'everything's wonderful' cable news?"
"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."
'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'
"Where are people going to get their misinformation?"
"Sure all the stations we make you buy are expensive, but the commercials are free!"
"Regrets? Yeah. I didn't live long enough to cherry-pick my cable channels."
Grave with a satellite dish.
"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."
Tags:cable package, cable packages, cable tv, cable television, satellite tv, satellite television, satellite package, satellite packages, satellite channel, satellite channels, cable channel, cable channels, sensitivity, sensitive, customer, customers, hurt feeling, hurt feelings, customize, customise, tv package, television package, tv packages, television packages
'Cable's not so expensive if you pro-rate the 180 channels we never watch.'
The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..
Cable TV charges, Basic cable...Old Boy Network: available to white males w/ big bucks only!
'Coming up: papers, pins and stones ... and the rest of the rolling news.'
"What does it mean why they say history repeats itself?"
"Baldo, you waste so much time. There's a big world out there, so many people to meet, so many places to see, so many things to experience."
'I want enough channels so that by the time I'm done surfing, a whole new half hour of programs I don't want to watch will begin.'
'You're lucky, Benny. We don't get The Fish Channel at my house.'
'His cable bill is gonna be horrendous.'
Soul Shopping Channel.
Tags:satan, devil, hell, tv, television, cable television, shopping channel, home shopping, soul, souls, retail, capitalism, money, shopping channels, shopping show, shopping shows, devils, demons, underworld, hades, afterlife, selling your soul, cable channel, cable tv, cable television, devil, lucifer, sell your soul, sold my soul, sold your soul
"We'll return to non-stop never-ending breaking news after this commercial message..."
"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."
Tags:cable, cable company, cable companies, cable contract, cable contracts, disappointing, disappointment, disappointments, people pleaser, people pleasers, people pleasing, people-pleaser, people-pleasers, customer satisfaction, customer service, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, tv subscription, television subscription, television subscriptions, cable channel, cable channels