Cable Channels Cartoons and Comics

'Oh,you know, the usual...500 channels and nothing on.'

Morning Lineup of Programs on ASC, the All-Security Camera Station:

"You wanna watch the Hunting Channel or the Gathering Network?"

"When did they add this channel?!"

"Do you want to watch the, 'everything's terrible' cable news or the, 'everything's wonderful' cable news?"

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Where are people going to get their misinformation?"

"Sure all the stations we make you buy are expensive, but the commercials are free!"

"Regrets? Yeah. I didn't live long enough to cherry-pick my cable channels."

Grave with a satellite dish.

"But if we let you pick and choose your own stations, that could hurt a lot of feelings."

'Cable's not so expensive if you pro-rate the 180 channels we never watch.'

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

Cable TV charges, Basic cable...Old Boy Network: available to white males w/ big bucks only!

'Coming up: papers, pins and stones ... and the rest of the rolling news.'

'I want enough channels so that by the time I'm done surfing, a whole new half hour of programs I don't want to watch will begin.'

'You're lucky, Benny. We don't get The Fish Channel at my house.'

'His cable bill is gonna be horrendous.'

"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."

"We'll return to non-stop never-ending breaking news after this commercial message..."