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'This sweater really itches, maybe I'm allergic to cactus?'
"Well, after you beheaded the groundskeeper, we had to go with something low-maintenance."
Tags:king, kings, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, plant, plants, cactus, cactuses, decoration, decorations, low-maintenance, low maintenance, easy, light work, groundskeeper, groundsman, groundskeepers, anger, angry, betray, betrayed, betrayal, complain, complains, complaining, unhappy, guard, guards, guardsmen
"Oh, love handles! We haven't had those in a while."
Tags:desert, deserts, sand, sand dunes, mirage, wasteland, lost, getting lost, cactus, cactuses, cacti, wilderness, vulture, vultures, carrion, bird, diet, diets, dieting, chub, chubby, heavy set, fat, fatter, fatness, love handles, love handle, spare tire, ironic, dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, gallows humor, gallows humor, dead, death, crawl, crawling, cuisine, cuisines, exotic food, exotic foods, variety, variation, variations
"I love you.''
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, porcupine, porcupines, needle, needles, pin, pins, spiky, plant, plants, cactus, cactuses, cacti, desert, deserts, love, true love, romance, love at first sight, relationship, relationships, compatibility, dating, couple, couples, perfect match, perfect couple
Portion control in the Old West
"That's right! Reach for the sky! Now hand over your water, you prickly varmint!"
SPF-30 Sunscreen Lotion
"....You're the sharpest one in class."
"How long do we have to keep doing this?"
"Worst case of dry scalp ever!"
Man crawling through desert sees cactus modeling clothes.
"My Favorite! How did you know?!"
'...We don't serve water at this bar.'
"I told them I wanted a power environment. They answered with just one word."
Tags:office politics, status symbol, status symbols, interior design, interior designs, executives, exec, execs, power environments, cactuses, working environment, work environment, executive, power environment, psychology, intimidation, cactus, power symbol, power symbols, phallic symbol, phallic symbols
"I thought you said it wouldn't need much attention."
Tags:plant, plants, houseplant, houseplants, cactus, cacti, cactuses, green fingers, green thumb, brown thumb, brown fingers, garderner, gardeners, plant lover, plant lovers, low-maintenance, low-maintenance plant, low-maintenance plants, walking plants, walking plant, carnivorous plant, carnivorous plants, man-eating plant, man-eating plants, fleeing, flee, run away, disaster, gardening disaster, houseplant disaster, triffid, triffids, day of the triffids
"Harold, are you in here?"
'Open the cash register!'
"That's what happens when they get enough water."
'Are your arms getting tired?'
Snail on a cactus.
"Nothing like a snow zombie."
Cactus Hold Up
Tags:hold up, hold-up, hold-ups, hold ups, deserts, desert, robbers, robbery, robberies, robber, holdup, holdups, muggings, mugger, muggers, mugging, cactus plant, cactus plans, cacti, cactuses, cactaceae cactuses, desert plant, desert plants, outlaw, outlaws, gun crime, gun crimes, duel, duels, duelling