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"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."
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Domino trips in line for an escalator
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'An asteroid is due to strike in one hour? See if you can get an injunction.'
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'Calamity! - A budgie has broken in overnight!'
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"Nah - it's just another main stream media hoax."
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"I realize your calamities are popular on facebook, but we really can't afford any more medical expenses this year."
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'How do you turn off the water if all of the handles are broken.'
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Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.
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'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'
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Calamity Jane Austen
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"So if the headmaster fell into the river, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out, that would be a calamity!"
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"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"
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"Oh no, another global catastrophe!"
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Sock Salesman of the Year Award
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"Topping tonight's news...everything is going downhill. Here's Karen with more on this fast-breaking story."
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