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"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."
Domino trips in line for an escalator
'An asteroid is due to strike in one hour? See if you can get an injunction.'
'Calamity! - A budgie has broken in overnight!'
"Nah - it's just another main stream media hoax."
"I realize your calamities are popular on facebook, but we really can't afford any more medical expenses this year."
'How do you turn off the water if all of the handles are broken.'
Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.
'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'
Calamity Jane Austen
"So if the headmaster fell into the river, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out, that would be a calamity!"
"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"
"Oh no, another global catastrophe!"
Sock Salesman of the Year Award
"Topping tonight's news...everything is going downhill. Here's Karen with more on this fast-breaking story."