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"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."
'No. There's no one who works here by that name. Let me connect you to our branch office.'
"Good morning. This is the White House. Press (1) for disinformation about coronavirus testing; press (2) for disinformation about masks and ventilators; or press (3) for all other corona disinformation."
Tags:call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, call options, white house, oval office, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration, trump scandal, trump scandals, trump controversy, trump controversies, covid-19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, disease, diseases, flu, flus, illness, sickness, virus, viruses, mismanagement, misinformation, spreading misinformation, coronavirus testing, masks, face masks, ventilators, ventilator, ppe, personal protective equipment
"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but if you weren't wearing clean underwear we automatically deny your claim."
Tags:medical, denied, deny, denies, claim, claims, insurance, void, voided, voids, loop hole, loop holes, loop-hole, loop-holes, loophole, loopholes, insured, insurances, medical insurance, operator, call centre, call center, accident, accidents, underwear, dodge, dodged, legal, legality, fine print, fineprint, health insurance, health, accidental, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, bureaucrat, bureaucracy, bureaucratic, phone, phones, enquiry, inquire
'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'
"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."
Tags:training recording, training recordings, training tape, training tapes, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, help line, help lines, customer service, customer services, customer satisfaction, customer experience, training purpose, training purposes, customer experience, customer experiences
"We have a wonderful research department and they've identified you as a potentially hot prospect."
'Oh, God I have to talk to a *****! Human!'
'I'm sorry you were on hold so long, but I was finishing up a webinar on customer service.'
'We're experiencing technical difficulties with the geni fulfilment center. A geni will be with you shortly.'
Santa's Jolly Ole Complaint Resolution Call Center
'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'
"I selected option 2, for help with my billing question, but was switched to option 3, to get a hard time with my billing question."
"How can I be of no assistance whatsoever?"
"1-800 Herd of Elephants."
"Your call is important to us."
Tags:call line, call lines, call-line, call-lines, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, skeleton, skeletons, bone, bones, corpse, police, policemen, policeman, detective, detectives, crimes, crime scene, crime scenes, customer service, customer services, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, hold, put on hold, wait, patience, patient
'Yes, I do want insurance. Can I take out a policy against you ringing me up at work.'
Our menu has changed. To hear this message again, press 1. To hang up, press 2.
Staff are all busy having a cup of coffee and a bit of a sit down...please hold on, your call IS important to us!
'Your call is important to whoever we are after our last merger.'
"What quality do you have, that will make us hire you as our new telephone support employee?"
'Try recording it again but this time, don't laugh when you say, 'Your call is important to us'.'
'A human being answered the phone!'
Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'