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"We are experiencing high call volume. Please do not hold."
'No. There's no one who works here by that name. Let me connect you to our branch office.'
"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"
"We have a wonderful research department and they've identified you as a potentially hot prospect."
'Oh, God I have to talk to a *****! Human!'
'I'm sorry you were on hold so long, but I was finishing up a webinar on customer service.'
'We're experiencing technical difficulties with the geni fulfilment center. A geni will be with you shortly.'
Santa's Jolly Ole Complaint Resolution Call Center
'All our operators are busy with customers who don't have an eternity to wait.'
"I selected option 2, for help with my billing question, but was switched to option 3, to get a hard time with my billing question."
"How can I be of no assistance whatsoever?"
"1-800 Herd of Elephants."
"Your call is important to us."
Tags:call line, call lines, call-line, call-lines, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, skeleton, skeletons, bone, bones, corpse, police, policemen, policeman, detective, detectives, crime, crimes, crime scene, crime scenes, customer service, customer services, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, hold, put on hold, wait, patience, patient
'Yes, I do want insurance. Can I take out a policy against you ringing me up at work.'
Our menu has changed. To hear this message again, press 1. To hang up, press 2.
Staff are all busy having a cup of coffee and a bit of a sit down...please hold on, your call IS important to us!
'Your call is important to whoever we are after our last merger.'
"What quality do you have, that will make us hire you as our new telephone support employee?"
'Try recording it again but this time, don't laugh when you say, 'Your call is important to us'.'
'A human being answered the phone!'
Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'
Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.
'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'
"Please wait while we have a cup of coffee and a bit of a chat about what we're doing at the weekend your call is important to us..."
Please wait while we have a cup of coffee and a bit of a chat about what we're doing at the weekend your call is important to us...the wrong automated cal system can have disasterous effects upon your customers.