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"Your call is important to us."
Tags:call line, call lines, call-line, call-lines, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, skeleton, skeletons, bone, bones, corpse, police, policemen, policeman, detective, detectives, crimes, crime scene, crime scenes, customer service, customer services, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, hold, put on hold, wait, patience, patient
Excellent Customer Care...Job Satisfaction...
Tags:customer care, customer service, customer services, call center, call centers, call centre, call centre, marketing, sales, helpline, customer feedback, customer experience, customer, customers, help line, help lines, call line, call lines, working environment, working environments, job satisfaction, job security
"Press 4, oh what the hell, press any number...We're not answering any of them."
"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with life!"
Tags:customer care, customer service, customer services, call center, call centers, call centre, call centre, marketing, sales, helpline, customer feedback, customer experience, customer, customers, help line, help lines, call line, call lines, job dissatisfaction, difficult customer, difficult customers
"I can't see the POINT of all this emphasis on 'customer care'!"
"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."
"Do you want Regular Hold or our new Power Hold?"
Tags:call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, call line, call lines, helpline, helplines, hold, hold button, hold buttons, power, telephone hold, telephone holds, businessmen, businessman, businesswomen, businesswoman, corporate culture, office politics, ego boost, ego boosts, power play
"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh....please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code..."
"...If you're still having difficulty with your connection...say 'yes'..."
Tags:helpline, helplines, call line, call lines, automated message, automated messages, answering machine, answering machines, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, customer helpline, customer services, customer support, computer, computers, desktop, desktops, technical support, it support, technician, technicians, tech, techs
Voice Mail Jail.
Tags:voice mail, customer service, customer services, customer, customers, voice mails, voice-mail, voice-mails, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, hotline, hotlins, call line, call lines, helpline, helplines, phone extension, hold, phone extensions, frustration, frustrations, exasperation
"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"
'Thank you for calling the sex pistols advice line. However, there's no point in asking as you'll get no reply.'
"Woopsee! Wrong button. And after you got through all those menus, too! Too bad. Good luck next time! hahaha!"
"Please stay on the line while we try to locate someone in tech support whose accent you'll understand."
"If this is the conflict resolution hotline, why are you ticking me off?"
'If this a recording, go delete yourself. If this is a live person, drop dead!'
"Let's re-record that, Jeff. It might sound more sincere to say 'Your call is very important' than 'verrrrry important'."
"Thank you for waiting. We appreciate your patience. If at any time you feel you need a more sincere and meaningful apology, please press one."
Tags:customer service, customer services, customer, customers, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, call line, call lines, insincere, insincerity, sincere, sincerity, apology, apologies, customer satisfaction, customer feedback, phone menu, phone menus, telephone menu, telephone menus
"You've reached the wrong department. Let me transfer you to a place called Nowhere."
"Well thank you for calling to say something positive. We don't get a lot of that in tech support."
"Press one to speak in English with a non-English speaking customer service representative..."
"Huge, big thank you, Santa, for recording the office holiday greeting."
"I bet you have one eye on the clock, just counting down the time left on this service call!"
"Press 43 to obtain closure from this call. Begin cursing when you hear the beep."
"I can help with the product, but I don't know how to open the packaging."