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Satan Fast Food
Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.
"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"
"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."
Personal Calorie Counter
"How many calories do you think we burn by pressing these buttons each day?"
"Do you have any idea how many calories are in that thing?"
Calorie Profiling: "All right, Buddy - what, exactly were you eating in there?"
"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."
Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.
Let Yourself Go Cafe
"You can't just tell people to eat shit anymore -- now you also gotta tell 'em how many calories it contains."
'One at a time, please.'
'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'
'Lose weight now...ask me how!'
"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."
"The figure to the right is the number of crunches you'll need to do to work off the gut that meal will give you."