Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
Applesauce, pea soup, candied yams.
"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"
Tags:can opener, can openers, can, cans, pet, pets, cat, cats, hungry, dinner, dinners, eat, eats, eating, supper, suppers, cat lady, cat ladies, cat lover, cat lovers, feline, felines, cat person, cat people, thief, thieves, steal, steals, stealing, thieving, cat burglar, catburglar, cat burglars, catburglars, burgle, burgles, burgling
'Drop the can opener!'
Tags:cat, cats, feline, felines, police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, law enforcement, pet, pets, petting, petted, can opener, can openers, tin opener, tin openers, gun point, gunpoint, freeze, freezes, freezing, order, orders, ordering, command, commands, commandingthe flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"All true, but their kind did invent the can opener."
"They're in charge because God gave them more can openers."
Tags:can opener, can openers, can, cans, dog food, feed the dog, feeds the dog, feeding the dog, human, mankind, dominion, dominion over nature, subservient, subservience, feed, feeds, feeding, motivate, motivates, motivating, motivation, master, masters, owner, owners, dog owner, dog owners, superior, superiority, god, authority, authority figure, authority figures, divine right, divine rights
"I bought a new canopener, but let's save the old one in case we ever have a need for a broken canopener."
Tags:can opener, can openers, can-opener, can-openers, canopener, canopeners, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards, collector, collectors, collection, tin opener, tin openers, tin-opener, tin-openers, kitchen, kitchen supplies, just in case, paranoia, magpie, magpies, accumulator, accumulators
Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.
"Wait. Let me have one more try."
Tags:wizard, wizards, warlock, warlocks, magic, magics, magician, magicians, robe, robes, magic wand, wand, incantation, incantations, spell, spells, ritual, rituals, black magic, white magic, can, can opener, open, opening, wife, wives, husbands and wives, husband and wife, married, married life, marriage, married couple, one more try, one more, help, helping, helping hand
'Watch the dog. I'm going to do my can opener impression.'
'Raise your paw for the corresponding ear when you hear the sound of a can opener.'
"Don't force it. Let me call tech support."
"When they hear the opener they'll go wild."
'Your snoring sounds like an electric can opener!'
"They're in charge because God gave them the can openers."
'I'm really beginning to feel my age, Lou. Irene used the can opener today and I didn't even hear it.'
'We've done all we can, but these beans... *sunglasses* ...Have expired.'
'. . . Well that's just great. She knows I don't know how to use the can opener.'
'How about another round of applause for my can opener.'
'Turn off that electric can opener before Marmaduke tears down our kitchen door!'
"Sure I love them...as much as you can love can openers."
Tags:cat, cats, feline, felines, pet, pets, pet cat, pet cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, can opener, can openers, cat food, cat foods, feline behaviour, feline behavior, cat behaviour, cat behavior, pet owner, pet owners, superior attitude, superior attitudes, superiority complex, superiority complexes
'Evil woman. She knows I never learned how to use one of these things.'
"That guarantee? Is it good for nine lifetimes?"
Unnaturally grown but easy-to-open egg.
'You're needed at the can opener.'