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"Hey, Gramps, is 'deathbed' one word or two?"
Tags:grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, deathbed, deathbeds, insensitive, death bed, death beds, spell check, spellcheck, dying, die, dies, dead, hospital, hospitals, teen, teens, teenager, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, carefree, rude, rudeness, tasteless, uncouth, question, questions, cancer, cancers
Tags:carcinoma, carcinomas, carcinogenic, smoking, smoker, smokers, bad habit, bad habits, cancer, cancers, lung cancer, sue, suing, law suit, law suits, unethical, immoral, tobacco, no smoking, thank you for not smoking, unhealthy, unhealthiness, addictive, addiction, nicotine, nicotine addiction, nicotine addicts, nicotine addicts, modern life, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists
'We'd better get out of the sun, sweety. That little thingy on your back just popped up.'
Monsanto and the Roundup Verdict
You can never escape from stress because... we'll soon be confronted by billions of robust, healthy rats.
Tags:stress, stressing, stressful, escape, escapes, escaping, stress-free, rat, rats, animal test, animal testing, cancer, cancers, cancerous, substance, substances, rid, rids, ridding, society, societies, billion, billions, army, armies, health, healthy, super rats, super species, resistant, resistance
"I'm afraid Mr. Bickles has some bad news."
'The bad news is chemo can kill you before the cancer does. The good news is the medical bills and health insurance can kill you before the chemo does.'
The History of Where People Are Allowed To Smoke...
"That's it, mister. You just lost your 'free range' status."
Tags:free range, free range eggs, free range egg, free range chicken, free range chickens, chicken, chickens, egg, eggs, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, smoke, smoking, smoker, smokers, all natural, chemicals, organic, not organic, smokes, tobacco, nicotine, cancer, cancer causing, smoking kills, quit smoking, punished, punish, disobey, disobeyed, bad chicken, cheat, cheater, cheaters, relationship, relationships, divorce, divorced, divorcing, couple, couples counselling, couples counsellor, couples counsellors, marriage, married, marry, marriage counsellor, marriage counselling
"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."
"Well, don't just stand there looking precancerous."
Tags:sunbathers, sunbathing, sunbath, beach, beaches, seaside, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, skin cancer, skin cancers, cancer, cancers, cancerous, disease, diseases, dermatologist, dermatologists, dermatology, beach chair, beach chairs, unhelpful, wife, wives, husband, husbands, nag, nags, nagging, sun cream, suncream, sun-cream
"The results show your masculinity to be benign, but let's keep an eye on it."
Tags:masculine, masculinity, toxic masculinity, toxic, toxicity, benign, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnoses, test result, test results, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, diagnosing, cancer, cancers, cancerous, oncologist, oncologists, oncology, feminist, feminists, men, man, invasive, threaten, threatens, threatening, keep an eye on it, observe, observes, observing, observation, observations, under observation, patient, patients
'Can I buy that driver's insurance after all?'
Tags:hospice, hospice care, hospice worker, hospice workers, palliative care, end of life, end of life care, free reign, given free reign, terminal, incurable, diagnosis, diagnoses, illness, illnesses, cancer, disease, diseases, live it up, living it up, freedom, freedoms, free up, frees up, freeing up, end of life, last days
'I'd better run some tests... It could be cancer.'
"We found a lumpty."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, egg, eggs, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, lump, lumps, growth, growths, tumor, tumors, tumour, tumours, cancer, bad news
'I don't care what the TSA guy at the airport told you, it's not cancerous.'
"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."
Tags:attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, legal representation, legal representative, legal representatives, surgery, in surgery, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, operating, operating theater, operating theaters, operating room, operating rooms, operating theatre, operating theatres, carcinoma, carcinomas, cancer, cancers, get well soon, good news, successful operation, successful operations
"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, horoscope, horoscopes, zodiac, zodiac, astrology, star sign, star signs, western astrology, animal, animals, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic, personification, bull, bulls, fish, ram, rams, crab, crabs, lion, lions, taurus, aeries, leo, pieces, cancer, relationship, relationships, dating, date, dates, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, compatibility
'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'
'Then we invented cell phones and the more we used them, the bigger our heads got.'
'Hmm...yes, I'm afraid it is a sign of cancer.'
"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"
Tags:charade, charades, playing charades, diagnosis, diagnoses, cancer, oncology, oncologist, oncologists, sounds like, clue, clues, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, cancer, cancers, guess, guesses, guessing, guessing game, guessing games, bad news, bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news
"Never bring a gun to a plutonium fight."
Tags:plutonium, plutonium fight, energy, energy source, energy sources, radiation, radiate, radiating, gun, guns, nuclear, nuclear power, nuclear fuels, nuclear bomb, nuclear bombs, radiation poisoning, radiation sickness, burn, burns, radiation burns, fight, fights, fighting, cancer, cancers, knife fight, knife fights