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"We need a cancer story for page 6, a 'cure' this time, we had two 'causes' last week. If you can link it with sex that's a double win!"
'It says that reading about cancer can give you CANCER!'
"Go ahead and kill yourself with nitrites. Why should I care?"
"And remember, Lester, Don't bring home the bacon. It's loaded with nitrites."
"I'm afraid a cell phone will give me cancer."
"What do you have that won't kill me?"
"This is the best news I've read in a long time."
"Surprise...! I made you a nice breakfast of bacon, ham, and sausage..."
'Cell phones pose a cancer risk. Computers may lead to Identify theft. Paper memos kill trees. So why do anything?'
"So smoking will kill you... bacon will kill you... but will smoking bacon will cure it?"
'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'
"Stop reading this stupid paper."