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"Hey, Gramps, is 'deathbed' one word or two?"
Tags:grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, deathbed, deathbeds, insensitive, death bed, death beds, spell check, spellcheck, dying, die, dies, dead, hospital, hospitals, teen, teens, teenager, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, carefree, rude, rudeness, tasteless, uncouth, question, questions, cancer, cancers
Tags:carcinoma, carcinomas, carcinogenic, smoking, smoker, smokers, bad habit, bad habits, cancer, cancers, lung cancer, sue, suing, law suit, law suits, unethical, immoral, tobacco, no smoking, thank you for not smoking, unhealthy, unhealthiness, addictive, addiction, nicotine, nicotine addiction, nicotine addicts, nicotine addicts, modern life, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists
'We'd better get out of the sun, sweety. That little thingy on your back just popped up.'
You can never escape from stress because... we'll soon be confronted by billions of robust, healthy rats.
Tags:stress, stressing, stressful, escape, escapes, escaping, stress-free, rat, rats, animal test, animal testing, cancer, cancers, cancerous, substance, substances, rid, rids, ridding, society, societies, billion, billions, army, armies, health, healthy, super rats, super species, resistant, resistance
'The bad news is chemo can kill you before the cancer does. The good news is the medical bills and health insurance can kill you before the chemo does.'
The History of Where People Are Allowed To Smoke...
"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."
"The results show your masculinity to be benign, but let's keep an eye on it."
Tags:masculine, masculinity, toxic masculinity, toxic, toxicity, benign, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnoses, test result, test results, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, diagnosing, cancer, cancers, cancerous, oncologist, oncologists, oncology, feminist, feminists, men, man, invasive, threaten, threatens, threatening, keep an eye on it, observe, observes, observing, observation, observations, under observation, patient, patients
"Well, don't just stand there looking precancerous."
Tags:sunbathers, sunbathing, sunbath, beach, beaches, seaside, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, skin cancer, skin cancers, cancer, cancers, cancerous, disease, diseases, dermatologist, dermatologists, dermatology, beach chair, beach chairs, unhelpful, wife, wives, husband, husbands, nag, nags, nagging, sun cream, suncream, sun-cream
'I'd better run some tests... It could be cancer.'
"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."
Tags:attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, legal representation, legal representative, legal representatives, surgery, in surgery, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, operating, operating theater, operating theaters, operating room, operating rooms, operating theatre, operating theatres, carcinoma, carcinomas, cancer, cancers, get well soon, good news, successful operation, successful operations
'I don't care what the TSA guy at the airport told you, it's not cancerous.'
'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'
'Then we invented cell phones and the more we used them, the bigger our heads got.'
"Hop? Jig? Dance? You're a dancer? Sounds like? Prancer? Cancer? Cancer! I got cancer!"
Tags:charade, charades, playing charades, diagnosis, diagnoses, cancer, oncology, oncologist, oncologists, sounds like, clue, clues, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, cancer, cancers, guess, guesses, guessing, guessing game, guessing games, bad news, bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news
"Never bring a gun to a plutonium fight."
Tags:plutonium, plutonium fight, energy, energy source, energy sources, radiation, radiate, radiating, gun, guns, nuclear, nuclear power, nuclear fuels, nuclear bomb, nuclear bombs, radiation poisoning, radiation sickness, burn, burns, radiation burns, fight, fights, fighting, cancer, cancers, knife fight, knife fights
"Congratulations! I think we got it all."
Tags:doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, in surgery, hospital, hospitals, cancer, cancerous, cancers, get well soon, ill, illness, unwell, patient, patients, recover, recovery, recovering, recuperate, recuperating, recuperation, amputate, amputations, cancer treatment, cancer treatments, overkill, mistake, mistakes, unnecessary, misjudge, misjudging, misjudged
"So did the fair princess ever develop melanoma?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, kid, kids, child, childhood, growing up, child rearing, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, melanoma, melanomas, malignant melanoma, malignant melanomas, skin cancer, skin cancers, cancer, cancers, fair skin, fair skinned, pale skin, pale skinned, beauty standard, beauty standard, difficult question, difficult questions, suncream, sunblock, sunscreen
'I gave it a healthy dose of denial, but it didn't help.'
Thanks to your microwave leaking radiation, you are cancer free!'
Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.
"What about all those nasty cracks you made about Philip Morris?"
'A harmless mole - but keep an eye on it.'
Smoking is suicide
'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'