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'Believe me, we've tried everything... All we get is a 'click-click-whirrr' kind of noise, a big 'CLUNK' and then NOTHING!'
"Don't s'pose you know how to change a flat?"
'That'll be $327.93 for parts, $268.58 for labor and $50 because I didn't like the station you had your radio set to.'
"You need a new radiator. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I blame the system, the cooling system."
'You always lift me up when I'm down.'
"How much for a good set of earplugs?"
Bubba gets Carpal Funnel Syndrome.
"It does seem an odd place to put it."
'You give him the estimate - you're bigger than he is.'
'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled 'The Better to Eat You With.' That was the last of Smithwick, the lube boy.'
"I'm sorry, it failed on a dodgy magic tree."
'Step this way to buy our low cholesterol motor oil that will perform miracles in your car. As an added bonus, we'll throw in a free gas cap.' Act now.' 'Local garage owners questioned corporate's new marketing strategy.'
'Now THAT'S a massage!'
If it ain't broke don't fix it.
Blimp My Ride.
New Slush Plan
Mechanic to man: 'Let's just say that it needs a battery with citric acid.'
'...veterinarian!...cat caught in fan belt!'
'I found what was making those funny noises.'
'Your car will be ready in a minute...the mechanic is saying the last rites now.'
Man to man about cat: 'You should hear the cars purr after he's done with them.'
Man to mechanic: 'Whever my wife is next to me, it pulls to the right.'
Man to mechanic: 'The hubcaps are child-proof.'
'Mind dropping us off at Lords,old chap?'
'Frankly I'm worried. The 'funny noise' has turned to whining and whimpering.'