Careers Advice Cartoons and Comics

'No, an aptitude test is not a test on your cell phone apps knowledge.'

"Daddy doesn't have a job. Daddy goes to the gym."

Need a little help with your career planning?

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

'Why did I become an accountant?' Well in truth I just threw a dart at the first page of the dictionary but becoming an aardvark was to difficult

'So, you've no experience, no skills and a poor grasp of reality... Have you considered consulting?'

'I'm looking for a career in something that will make me first in line for a government bailout if I mess up.'

'...it may be advisable to think of a referee other than your mother.'

"So where do you see yourself fitting into late stage capitalism?"

"I see...and any ideas other than Supreme Leader of the Universe?"

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

'I'm getting ready to apply to colleges. Do you have a list of party schools?'

Success in a modern business setting requires more than the ability to mime to 'Arctic Monkeys' while blancing a pint of lager on your head.

"Where's Waldo in five years?"

'Maybe you could refer to your time behind bars as 'living in a gated community'.'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'I don't wanna discuss my responsibilities! I wanna talk about my rights!'

'The good news is, you'll never have to worry about being overqualified for any job...'

Careers advisor

'Posting a song on the internet and becoming a global singing phenomenon is certainly an option, but you might like to consider focussing on your GCSE's as a back-up!'

'To be honest, I've never known for my work ethic.'

'I explored all of my career options and found sitting on a porch was more rewarding than becoming a pumpkin pie.'

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."