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'The future is yours, Eddie, which judging from this history grade, is more than I can say for the past.'
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Procrastinator's support group
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'No, I'm not interested in finding a career as of yet, but I would like you to find my math teacher a new one.'
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"'Lunch'? Well, yes - but what are your long-term goals?"
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I got my degree in like, you know, communications.
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'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'
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"I want to be a Jockey."
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"You're a narcissistic, self-serving opportunist devoid of a conscience. A career in politics beckons!"
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"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"
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"Let's face it Simkins, the only way you'll ever get to medical school is by donating your body to science."
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'I want to be a weatherman or a pundit. They never have to be right all the time.'
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'My job goal is political aide. I majored in finger pointing.'
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Tainted occupations recommended for school bully.
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'Steve's career counselor told him he should try to make something of himself, so he decided on 'nuisance.''
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'Any other qualifications besides pumping iron?'
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Careers Councellor
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Careers Counsellor
"Billy is not one to follow rules. In other words, he's more likely to succeed in the rodeo circuit then in dressage..."
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