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The Adventures of Break-O-Man
"I can't remember whether or not I left hell on."
Tags:satan, satanic, demon, demons, demonic entity, demonic entities, 666, hell, underworld, pub, pubs, bar, bars, pub talk, bar talk, pub chat, careless, carelessness, the abyss, abyss, inattentive, attentive, negligent, negligence, heedless, irresponsible, absent-minded, sloppy, reckless, incautious
"Can you describe this china shop?"
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, animal, animals, cow, cows, bull, bulls, cattle, livestock, bovine, china shop, china shops, careless, awkward, clumsy, damaging, describe, description, expression, expressions, idiom, idioms, wordplay, word play
Tags:april fools, april fools day, idiot, idiots, idiotic, moron, morons, stupid, stupid person, stupid people, bad idea, bad ideas, think through, thinks through, thinking through, foolish, foolish idea, foolish ideas, certain, certainty, certainties, think ahead, thinking ahead, thoughtless, careless, carefree, april
Playfully skirting catastrophic failure since 1924
"Do I have to remind you people that we're facing a hostile takeover?"
"When the kids are done raising themselves, can we move in with them?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, children, child, kid, kids, growing up too fast, mature children, mature for their age, raise, raising, move in, moving in, irresponsible, uncaring, careless, carelessness, rash, reckless, not care enough, lazy, laziness, bad parenting, bad parents, modern age, modern times, modern era, modern world
"Wake up, you idiot—you forgot to turn off the hat!"
"These medicines all taste pretty good - let's approve them."
Tags:fda, food and drug administration, approve, approves, approval, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, drug, scientist, scientists, food science, health, healthy, unhealthy, overprescribe, overprescribing, overprescription, overmedicate, overmedicating, careless, carelessness, uncaring, side effect, side effects, approved, big pharma, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies
Man driving forklift is distracted by a pretty co-worker and accidentally runs into another colleague.
"I love it when Edward shoots from the hip."
Tags:shoot from the hit, shooting from the hip, shoots from the hip, social faux pas, faux pas, putting your foot in in, wind up merchant, wind up merchants, careless, thoughtless, tactless, lack of tack, inconsiderate, couple, couples, relationship, relationships, love, flaw, flaws, character flaw, character flaws, party, parties
"Oh, is that today?"
Tags:national aeronautics and space administration, nasa, astronaut, astronauts, space, outer space, outerspace, spacesuit, spacesuits, helmet, helmets, spaceship, spaceship, space shuttle, space shuttles, take-off, blast-off, takeoff, launch, launches, launching, launch day, science, unprepared, unready, not prepared, not ready, caught off guard, underdressed, under-dressed, forgot, careless, error, errors, mistake, mistakes, important, big day, work, job, career, space travel
"Didn't expect us to be drunk and stupid, did you?"
Tags:drunk, drinking, stupid, stupidity, dumb mistakes, mistake, mistakes, silly mistakes, alien, aliens, et, e.t., extra terrestrial being, extra terrestrial, ufo, u.f.o., unidentified flying object, outer space, driving under influence, dui, careless, carelessness, crash landing, crash, accident, accidents, drinking and driving, disappoint, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing
"I was supposed to take the shoes off first, wasn't I?"
"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."
Tags:investigate, investigates, investigation, investigations, accountant, accounting, accounting department, accounting departments, books, cooked books, incompetence, incompetent, corporation, corporations, colleague, colleagues, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, careless, carelessness, malfeasance, corporate malfeasance
"Remember, as an environmental attorney, every toxic cloud has a silver lining."
Tags:environmental, environment, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives, global warming, climate change, silver lining, silver linings, bright side, glass is half full, positive thinking, careless
Negligence Lawyer Stakeout
"They just put that to make you handle it with care."
Tags:handle with care, fragile, fragility, move, moves, moving, moving van, moving vans, warning, warning sign, warnings, warning signs, mover, movers, move house, moving house, careless, carelessness, indifferent, indifference, ignore, ignores, ignoring, skeptic, skeptics, skeptical, sceptic, sceptics, sceptical, upright, right side up, this way up, baggage handler, baggage handlers, personal property, break, breaks, breaking, broken
"My wife is recording everything the kids do until they leave for college. Then I'll binge-watch them grow up."
Tags:record, recording, film, filming, social media, media, social-media, grow up, grow-up, growing-up, growing up, raising, raised, camera, cameras, smartphone, smartphones, binge, binge-watch, binge watch, father, fathers, dad, dads, parent, parents, parenting, modern families, modern life, modern lives, modern, backyard, garden, backyards, gardens, lazy, laziness, easy, easier, careless, sexist
"The killer had to be a man. Not only is the knife still bloody—it wasn't even put in the sink."
Tags:gender stereotype, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, spouse, spouses, nag, nags, nagging, careless, carelessness, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, husband, husbands, man, men, put away, puts away, putting away, knife, knives, wash, washes, washing up, wash up, washes up, dishwasher, dishwashers, doing dishes, do the dishes, sink, sinks
"Let me through! I'm a businessperson!"
Tags:businessperson, businesspeople, businessperson, spill, spills, spilling, expert, experts, expertise, sidewalk, sidewalks, clumsy, clumsiness, careless, carelessness, accident, accidents, accidental, crowd, crowds, crowded sidewalk, crowded sidewalks, fall, falls, falling, trip, trips, tripping, klutz, klutzy, klutziness, assist, assistance, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, first world problem, first world problems
"Wowie-zowie, huh, guys?"
Tags:wowie zowie, wowie-zowie, accident, accidental, inconsiderate, sledding, sled, sledging, sledge, toboggan, toboggans, careless, snow, snowing, snowfall, winter, winter sports, winter activities, winter sport, winter activity, falling off, fallen off, play, playing, kid, kids, friends, friendship, child, childhood, childhood game, childhood games, fell off, imaginary friend, imaginary friends, mishap, mishaps, crash, crashes, crashing
"Damn! God gave me that pen."
A limo driver chases his car down a hill.