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'Yeah, yeah, the floral pattern is fine. Weez just lookin' for somethin' a little wider, maybe eight, nine feet.'
"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, interior design, interior designer, interior designers, interior decorating, interior decorator, interior decorators, home decor, redecorating, decorating, renovation, renovations, renovating, carpeting, carpet, carpets, shag carpet, shag carpeting, hardwood, hardwood floors, flooring, home improvement, property, properties
Which one? The Times? The Post? Maybe The Tribune? Oh, Phil - Picking out a carpet is so difficult.
Tags:bird, birds, paper, papers, news, newspaper, newspapers, carpet, carpets, fitter, fitters, decision, decisions, choice, choices, choose, chooses, pick, picks, picking, times, post, tribune, difficult, hard, indecisive, phil, meredith, nest, nests, home, homes, house, houses, decorate, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"In heaven you can pee on the carpet."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, religion, religious, death, after death, life after death, afterlife, heaven, doggie heaven, doggy heaven, pet heaven, rainbow bridge, carpet, carpets, paradise
A king chooses rugs
Underfunded Police Dept: 'Continue to resist and I'll be forced to rub my feet on this piece of carpet and touch you.'
"Last call, Eddie."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, server, servers, barkeep, barkeeps, barkeeper, barkeepers, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, last call, last calls, closing, closing time, closing up, carpet, carpets, rolling up, rolling up the carpet
Chet Blows Another Sale.
"I don't know what to do anymore! Our new carpet was really expensive but so was the dog!"
Tags:dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, puppy training, obedience training, house train, house training, pedigree, pedigrees, dog breed, dog breeds, canine, canines, expensive, expenses, carpet, carpets, therapist, therapists, therapy, shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, dilemma, dilemmas, shallow, shallows, first world problem, first world problems, new carpet, new carpets, interior design
Safety Tips from the American Council to Avoid Static Shocks
Tags:safety tip, safety tips, tip, tips, static, static shock, static shocks, static electricity, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, irritation, irritations, irritating, carpet, carpets, staticky, shock, shocks, shocking, electric shock, electric shocks, government program, government programs, task force, task forces, federal task force, federal task forces, petty problem, petty problems
"I'd be upset, too, if they replaced my golden parachute with a dirty rolled-up carpet."
Tags:retirement, forced retirement, pension, pensions, merger, mergers, laid off, lay off, laid-off, lay offs, lay-off, merger, mergers, redundancy, redundancies, made redundant, redundant, golden parachute, golden parachutes, executive, executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, business executive, business executive, carpet, carpets, takeover, takeovers, business takeover, business takeovers, bonus, bonuses
"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."
"There goes the Aubusson."
Tags:death, deaths, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, killing, kills, killed, homicide, homicides, crimes, criminal, criminals, shot, shooting, shoot, shots, shoots, bleed, bleeding, bleeds, violence, violent, law, laws, marriage, married, marry, marriages, husband, wife, husbands, wives, relationship, relationships, aubusson, aubussons, gun, guns, pistol, pistols, tapestry, carpet, tapestries, carpets, france, french, concern, concerns, concerning, priorities, priority, annoy, annoyed, reaction, react
'When I was three, I kept falling out of bed. My parents couldn't afford a baby alarm so they took the carpet off the floor.'
"I had the most marvellous dream last night. The whole world was done over in wall-to-wall carpeting."
"I'm sure it's a rug."
Tags:businessman, businessmen, balding, hair loss, alopecia, bald, no hair, losing hair, going bald, hiding, covering, head, heads, embarrassed, embarrassment, wig, wigs, toupee, toupees, rug, rugs, carpet, carpets, gossip, gossiping, wordplay, word play, man, men, beauty, health, hairstyle, hairstyles, hair
The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.
"Look, darling - two pieces of old rug, nailed to our slippers, and Hey Presto! - no need for expensive carpets...!!"
"As soon as those rug samples come back from the lab I want to get them over to my decorator."
Tags:rug, rugs, rug sample, rug samples, carpet, carpets, carpet sample, carpet samples, decorate, decorates, decorator, decorators, interior decorator, interior decorators, interior decoration, interior decorations, hit, hits, mob hit, mob hits, whacked, shooting, shootings, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, priority, priorities, distracted, distraction, distractions
'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'
'Your puppy had an accident on the rug.'
'....I need to do push-ups more often. I just found my contacts.'
'You can't keep sweeping all your personnel problems under the carpet.'
"I must say I liked the clouds much better than the new indoor-outdoor carpet."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, angel, angels, cloud, clouds, carpet, carpets, indoor-outdoor carpet, indoor-outdoor carpets, interior design, interior designer, interior designers, interior decorating, interior decorator, interior decorators, home decor, decor, decoration, decorations, redecorating, decorating, renovation, renovations, renovating, like, better, worse, opinion, opinions, critique, critiques, critical, critic, critics, complaint, complaints, complaining
'I'm tired of you tracking soot and dust into the house. Please call a locksmith next year and use the front door.'