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"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, cannonball, cannonballs, daredevil, daredevils, stunt, stunts, stuntman, stuntmen, die, dies, dying, cause of death, causes of death, bathtub, bathtubs, tub, tubs, accident, accidents, accidental, accidental death, accidental deaths, age, ages, aging, ageing, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully, grow old, grows old, growing old, elder, elders, senior citizen, senior citizens, irresponsible, irresponsibility, fall, falls, slip and fall, slipping and falling
John W. Wilson 1949-2009 - Forgot to ask his doctor everything he wanted to ask him.
Tags:doctor, doctors, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, forget, forgets, forgetting, forgot, forgotten, absentminded, absentmindedness, absent-minded, absent-mindedness, disease, diseases, diseased, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, headstone, headstones, fatal error, fatal errors, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, illness, illnesses, gravestone, gravestones, cause of death, diagnosis, prognosis, concern, concerns, concerned
'Whenever I complained that my feet were killing me, nobody believed me.'
J. Smith: Passive Smoker
Tags:epitaph, epitaphs, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestones, grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, passive smoker, passive smokers, smoke, smoking, smoked, smokes, smoker, smokers, chainsmoker, chainsmokers, chain smoking, passive smoking, equally dangerous, danger, dangerous, deadly, dead, death, die, dies, dying, died, cancerous, cause of death
"There are many questions, of course, that won't be answered till the autopsy."
"Poor Harold always did have trouble with seafood."
"You have natural causes.''
'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'
"Well, Millie, I guess this is it for us!"
Tags:giant, giants, cause of death, causes of death, die, dies, dying, stomp, stomps, stomping, stomped, step on, steps on, stepping on, squash, squashes, squashed, bootheel, bootheels, boot heel, boot heels, little guy, little guys, squish, squishes, squishing, ignore, ignores, ignoring, elite, elites, elitist, elitists, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical
"I was able to get in one last lecture about diet and exercise."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, intensive care, waiting area, waiting areas, lecture, lectures, last lecture, death, dead, diet, diets, eating healthy, the importance of eating healthy, exercise, fitness, exercising, the importance of exercise, too late, widow, widows, grieving, mourning, wife, wives, bedside manner, overweight, obesity, obesity crisis, health problem, health problems, health issue, health issues, cause of death, bad news
All You Need To Know: Somebody Else's Fault/Their Own Fault/Nobody's Fault.
All natural herbs - vitamins - supplements. 'Looks like he died of natural causes.'
'The witch is dead.'
'I choked on a vitamin tablet.'
"I hate to be a downer, but statistically, people are more likely to die of heart failure than get hit by one of those things."
"Take a wild guess, butter boy."
Tags:butter, fatty food, fatty foods, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, lard, fat, fats, artery, arteries, clogged artery, clogged arteries, cause of death, death, grim reaper, saturated fats, high cholesterol, heart attack, heart attacks, diet, bad diet, bad diets, weight gain, heart disease, saturated fat
Cause of death: Just one of those things.
"...From what appears to be a self-inflicted slingshot wound."
Tags:news, news reporter, news reporters, the news, story, stories, news story, news stories, dennis the menace, dennis, prank, pranks, prankster, pranksters, slingshot, slingshots, neighbor, neighbors, neighbours, neighbours, injury, injured, death, died, cause, causes, cause of death, self-inflicted, self-inflict, sling shot wound, slingshot wound, wound, wounds, wounded
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking cat, talking cats, cat, feline, felines, cats, cat owner, cat owners, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, personification, death, dead, investigation, investigations, investigator, investigators, investigating, suspicious death, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, morgue, morgues, coroner, coroners, medical examiner, medical examiners, forensics, forensic pathology, cause of death, verdict, verdicts, curiosity, curiosity killed the cat, expression, expressions, wordplay, wordplay, play on words
'Off hand, I'd say it's a head trauma caused by a blunt instrument.'
"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."
"It's a little late for a second opinion - this is the autopsy."
Tags:autopsy, morgue, death, second opinion, hospital, cause of death, health, wellness, investigation, organ donor, near death experience, coming back from the dead, doctor, cancer, heart disease, operation, stroke, paralyzed, pulled the plug, brain-dead, life-support, second opinions, autopsies, mortician, morticians, morgue, morgues, zombie, zombies
Wouldn't stop picking at it.
'It appears he was popped.'
"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."