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"You don't think it's too Johnnie Cochran?"
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"All I know is I bought one of Martha Stewart's candles once and it was lovely."
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"I'm sorry, Chad, … if it's a subpoena I don't think I can negotiate an appearance fee."
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"This is my friend Robert Shapiro, except he's not the real Robert Shapiro."
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"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"
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'We, the Jury, find Michael Jackson kooky, eccentric and flamboyant.'
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"From now on, let's just call it orange juice."
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"Your honor, in lieu of jail time, my client is willing to appear on 'I'm a celebrity - get me out of here!'"
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Attorneys - Practice Limited To Big Juicy Cases.
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'So you see, a jury acquitted me.'
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'Nigella, you admit you have used cocaine??...'
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'You have TWO strikes against you. You are guilty and you're not a celebrity.'
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'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'
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Secretasry to lawyer: 'Some clown here to see you about a high profile slip and fall.'
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Michael Jackson Trial Witnesses.
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"Oh, it's not a circus, it's Michael Jackson's trial motorcade!"
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