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"You don't think it's too Johnnie Cochran?"
"All I know is I bought one of Martha Stewart's candles once and it was lovely."
"I'm sorry, Chad, … if it's a subpoena I don't think I can negotiate an appearance fee."
"This is my friend Robert Shapiro, except he's not the real Robert Shapiro."
"My client has been convicted by the media, but I am confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal by the three major networks and the 'Times.'"
'We, the Jury, find Michael Jackson kooky, eccentric and flamboyant.'
"From now on, let's just call it orange juice."
"Your honor, in lieu of jail time, my client is willing to appear on 'I'm a celebrity - get me out of here!'"
Attorneys - Practice Limited To Big Juicy Cases.
'So you see, a jury acquitted me.'
'Nigella, you admit you have used cocaine??...'
'You have TWO strikes against you. You are guilty and you're not a celebrity.'
'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'
Secretasry to lawyer: 'Some clown here to see you about a high profile slip and fall.'
Michael Jackson Trial Witnesses.
"Oh, it's not a circus, it's Michael Jackson's trial motorcade!"