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'It's time for the executive performance reviews, Fenwick. I'll do you if you'll do me.'
'My first mistake was hiring you. My second mistake was not firing you. My third mistake is going to be throwing you out the window.'
-"I finished the project on time and on budget!" -"Right, next project you get less time and less money!"
'Yes?' (Boss has his feet up on the desk,the soles of the shoes spell 'NO'. He is addressing an employee)
-"People are our second most important asset." -"And our first? Money I suppose."
The Adventures of Morton.
'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).
-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."
Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.
CEO decides to enroll the board in an apology workshop.
'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'
'Of course our competitors have an unfair advantage - their product actually works.'
'Sorry, folks! The CEO and Board of Directors didn't show up.'
'Of course these are just paper profits, but here comes the real money now, our CEO.'
THINK on your own time - SWEAT on company time.
"Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!"
Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.
-I'm prepared to pay you more if you work hard. -I knew there'd be a catch.
"I see a very handsome bottom line later in the year."
Great Deal Of Fund: Underperforming.
'This age discrimination is getting out of hand!' (employees talking about their new child CEO).
You can fool some of the people all of the time - "Send in some of the people, Dorothy."
CEO Temptation Island! Some claim it's too real...
'Everyone has a game plan, Sims. Yours, strangely, looks like the Pittsburgh Steelers' offensive.'